Sunday, October 10, 2010

Exactly What I Needed

It's easy to get to a place where when people see you day to day, you just tell them everything is ok.  Most of the time if someone asks me, "how are you today?", I think of my current status which is usually pretty good.

It's in my own quiet space where it is just me and God that things are not ok.

Yes, I love Him and want to serve Him, but my desire falls short when it comes to actual motivation to spending time with Him.  I was challenged in this area last weekend by Joey our youth pastor at the Liquid retreat.  God truly grabbed my heart with concepts that I had heard before, but somehow they made the connection.

So, with being back at work for a full week, I must say that I struggled. Still.

I did great the first day and maybe one other day, but still found it falling to the back burner, quickly forgotten.

To get to the next part I must give you a teeny bit of background.  I really have been stressed out lately.  Everything and everyone adds to it. I have had tears come to eyes more than once when I am in the quiet of my car driving from here to there. Trying to hold it together.

This weekend during a marvelous prayer walk through the beautiful woods, covered in the colors of fall, we had a moment of confession.  We prayed to ourselves asking God to show us areas that we need to confess to Him.  During this time God revealed to me that I have been doing things by my own strength. Hence the stress.

This also drives home last weekend's thoughts as well. I need time with God so that I can rely on Him and His strength to carry me through this time in my life that makes me anxious and stressed.  They are so intertwined.

As I prepare my heart and mind for the week, I already feel myself getting tense. I must lay this down and give it to Him.  I am hoping that this week I am able to truly stop, be quiet, and connect with God and in the process know that He will get me through each day.

Here is to a new week!

Joyful Moment of the Day: I loved the retreat, but it was fun to get back to Adam and Kaylee.  We played and laughed a lot this afternoon. Perfect ending to a great weekend!  A weekend that was exactly what I needed!

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