Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Waving My White Flag

I recently watched a clip about Moms that are going back to work in order to get away from taking care of their kids.

Today was one of those days where I could totally relate to the desire to do just that.

The nice thing about a "job" is that it is (usually) timed. I worked at an office from 8-5. I worked for a school from 2-6. The "job" does not come home with me. I can come home and relax after the "job".

Being a stay-at-home Mom is a 24/7 "job". It does not stop at 5 nor offer time for relaxation. Even after the kids go to bed, you have laundry and dishes calling your name.

Staying at home has been great. I get to be with my girls and teach them what I want them to know. I can decide (for now) who they hang out with and are influenced by. I get to love on them all day and grow a relationship with them that hopefully someday will bring us to friendship.

Not only are there those benefits, but I also can (somewhat) keep up with my household duties better.

Today though.... I wanted to just raise my white flag and throw in the towel.

Kaylee woke up (early) with extra energy that she must have had stored under her pillow from yesterday. She was in to EVERYTHING and constantly doing exactly what I just had asked her not to do. She ran around her room her whole nap time, never napping, and still had energy to finish out the day.

Ella woke up (early) and cranky. I think she is teething. Slobber and spit-up EVERYWHERE. She cried a lot today which usually is a sign that I forgot to give her her reflux meds, but I remembered today so again - teething??? Either way, she was not her usual laid back self.

Surprisingly, I did not let these early risers get to me (right away). Kaylee and I spent the morning playing tea and pretending to eat her alphabet magnets while Ella took her morning nap. Lunch time was when I started to get worn down. It is just so exhausting to say, "NO!" over and over and over and over and over again. (and over again) And tiring to discipline over and over again. And wearing to hear crying all day.

By the time bed time rolled around, I had nothing left to give except frustration.

It was interesting though because all I could think about was the kind of Mom I am being. Who am I to be a Mother to these two girls? I am so completely fortunate and blessed to be able to stay home and take care of them. Good or bad days. Sure, they are super exhausting a lot of the time, but it goes back to the fact that this time (while it seems long and drawn out today) that I have with them is going to fly by! How are they going to remember this time that they have at home with me? How will it effect our relationship in the future?

With those thoughts, I was able to keep my frustration and emotion in check while I finished bedtime routines and got the girls into bed.

The Lord brought a passage of scripture to my heart as well.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

May God continue to mold and shape me (in spite of me) to be a wonderful example of who He is and bring glory to His name through me as a Mom (and a wife).

1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you! Thanks for being a good Mom and example to your girls (and I'm sure others who are watching to see how a Christian Mom handles the craziness of life and motherhood combined.) You're doing a great job and it's good that you're journaling these things - so you can write a book that some young mother may need to read - so she can see that it's not like it says in all the books. Parenthood is sometimes, okay most of the time, learned on the "fly!"
    Love you, my sweet Girl! ~ Dad


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