When I was waiting for my Parent's call yesterday I did not expect the answer would be "benign". Not because I lack faith. But because I was trying to be ok with whatever the result ended up being.
See, a month ago my Mom had a rather large and pretty impossible spot to reach that they were fairly certain was still cancer. They were going to do an MRI guided biopsy a few weeks later to be certain that it was just an area that was still healing from radiation. Well, during those few weeks, that spot completely healed. Vanished.
And a new spot had formed.
So when they did the MRI guided biopsy to check the other spot, they instead prepped the new spot. But since it was too close the chest cavity to do the biopsy, they would have to go in surgically to get it. So, that added another few weeks of waiting.
I was preparing myself for the worst. After all, it had been in there for like 5 weeks. And it was brand new.
Dad called me quickly after the doctor's call came in and shared the good news. Benign! That word gives me goosebumps!
God sometimes chooses no as an answer and while I was prepared for that, I am so grateful that His answer was YES! I prayed for healing for my Mom and He provided it graciously. Praise God! Thank you Lord for healing. To You and You alone be the glory, honor, and praise!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Tomorrow's Biopsy
I never thought that my Mom would get cancer. And I am not going to tell you that these last 7 months have been easy. In reality, these months have been some of the hardest I have ever faced. They have been cold. Dry. Cloudy. Lonely.
But.
God.
He has lifted me out of the darkness. He has revealed Himself to me. He has been my solid rock that I cling to.
No, I don't understand why this is a trial my family and I have faced, but I know that God is still God. He is in control. And I trust Him.
Tomorrow my Mom has another biopsy. One that we hope is her last. Benign. If, however, this is not the end of this trial, and it brings more heartache; one thing does not change.
God is still on His throne. And He is still great. And should be worshiped and praised. He sees the whole picture. He knows the goal, the end. And He will be here beside me through the whole thing.
Psalm 62:5-8 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."
But.
God.
He has lifted me out of the darkness. He has revealed Himself to me. He has been my solid rock that I cling to.
No, I don't understand why this is a trial my family and I have faced, but I know that God is still God. He is in control. And I trust Him.
Tomorrow my Mom has another biopsy. One that we hope is her last. Benign. If, however, this is not the end of this trial, and it brings more heartache; one thing does not change.
God is still on His throne. And He is still great. And should be worshiped and praised. He sees the whole picture. He knows the goal, the end. And He will be here beside me through the whole thing.
Psalm 62:5-8 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Sexual Purity
As a teenager I went to several different conferences. Among them was one called True Love Waits. I cannot tell you word for word what was said, but the gist was to abstain from sex until marriage. Something that I had heard my entire life.
The problem with that being what I took from the conference was that sex is just one physical act between a man and a woman. Being young and innocent and having no concept that there was more than just that one physical act, I decided that I would stand strong and remain a virgin until I was married.
I am so thankful that I made that decision.
BUT.
I wish that I had taken more from that conference. I wish that someone had pulled me aside and told me that God doesn't call us to just be virgins on our wedding day, but He calls us to be sexually pure.
Being sexually pure brings so much more to the equation.
When I got to college, I decided to start studying exactly what the Bible says about not just sex, but purity.
My favorite passage is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. It says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE.
Christ paid that price with His life. Honor God with your body. What a simple way to bring glory to God.
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."
In no way did I think that what I did would dishonor my marriage. I wasn't married. In my mind, in order to dishonor my marriage, I had to be married. Um no. Everything you do sexually outside of marriage dishonors your marriage. Not only that, but God will judge the sexually immoral. So even if I hadn't gotten married I would still face consequences for my actions.
The last passage I want to share with you is 1 Timothy 4:12. It says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."
As you can see, apparently I just listened to everyone else on matters of the Bible as a teenager and never really picked it up for myself to read it. If I had, I may have seen that these passages do not simply say "flee from sex", "God will judge those who have sex" or "set an example by not having sex".
Yes, they include sex, but it covers everything sexual.
For some it may even include a first kiss or hand holding. If you can't kiss someone and keep your thoughts pure, you shouldn't be kissing them.
Working with students, I see myself in each girl. Wanting to follow God. Wanting to serve Him. Yet so caught up in wanting a boy to like me. A boy to think that I was beautiful and that I was special.
Sadly, my thoughts of myself were small and I did not set my sights on what God thought of me. It wasn't until I was in my freshmen year of college, my first summer really, that I realized that I did not need a guy in my life to feel beautiful and special.
What I needed was God to fill that void.
I took the end of my first semester, all summer, and a little of that next semester to truly see myself through God's eyes. Satan was there waiting to test me. But I held strong.
During that time is when God started making it very clear to me that He had designed someone special for me. Someone who would compliment my strengths and weaknesses perfectly. Someone better than I ever let myself believe I deserved.
My husband.
I hope that when my girls are older they don't have to struggle with the questions and hurts that I did. That they can know clearly that God has called them to be pure. That they are so deeply in love with Him that they feel special and beautiful because they see themselves the way that God sees them. And that if they are called to get married someday, that God has someone wonderful for them. Someone designed specifically for them, better than they could ever imagine for themselves.
The problem with that being what I took from the conference was that sex is just one physical act between a man and a woman. Being young and innocent and having no concept that there was more than just that one physical act, I decided that I would stand strong and remain a virgin until I was married.
I am so thankful that I made that decision.
BUT.
I wish that I had taken more from that conference. I wish that someone had pulled me aside and told me that God doesn't call us to just be virgins on our wedding day, but He calls us to be sexually pure.
Being sexually pure brings so much more to the equation.
When I got to college, I decided to start studying exactly what the Bible says about not just sex, but purity.
My favorite passage is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. It says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE.
Christ paid that price with His life. Honor God with your body. What a simple way to bring glory to God.
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."
In no way did I think that what I did would dishonor my marriage. I wasn't married. In my mind, in order to dishonor my marriage, I had to be married. Um no. Everything you do sexually outside of marriage dishonors your marriage. Not only that, but God will judge the sexually immoral. So even if I hadn't gotten married I would still face consequences for my actions.
The last passage I want to share with you is 1 Timothy 4:12. It says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."
As you can see, apparently I just listened to everyone else on matters of the Bible as a teenager and never really picked it up for myself to read it. If I had, I may have seen that these passages do not simply say "flee from sex", "God will judge those who have sex" or "set an example by not having sex".
Yes, they include sex, but it covers everything sexual.
For some it may even include a first kiss or hand holding. If you can't kiss someone and keep your thoughts pure, you shouldn't be kissing them.
Working with students, I see myself in each girl. Wanting to follow God. Wanting to serve Him. Yet so caught up in wanting a boy to like me. A boy to think that I was beautiful and that I was special.
Sadly, my thoughts of myself were small and I did not set my sights on what God thought of me. It wasn't until I was in my freshmen year of college, my first summer really, that I realized that I did not need a guy in my life to feel beautiful and special.
What I needed was God to fill that void.
I took the end of my first semester, all summer, and a little of that next semester to truly see myself through God's eyes. Satan was there waiting to test me. But I held strong.
During that time is when God started making it very clear to me that He had designed someone special for me. Someone who would compliment my strengths and weaknesses perfectly. Someone better than I ever let myself believe I deserved.
My husband.
I hope that when my girls are older they don't have to struggle with the questions and hurts that I did. That they can know clearly that God has called them to be pure. That they are so deeply in love with Him that they feel special and beautiful because they see themselves the way that God sees them. And that if they are called to get married someday, that God has someone wonderful for them. Someone designed specifically for them, better than they could ever imagine for themselves.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE BEING A MOMMA
Skimming my old instagram pictures prompted me to think about how much I LOVE being a Mom. Sure, it has it's ups and downs just like everything else in life, but overall I would not trade it for anything else in the world. Here is my TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE BEING A MOMMA:
1. Snuggles - Let's face it, nobody snuggles like a child. Those little pudgy arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing as if life depended on it. Their head rested on your chest and their heart pumping slowly because they are so secure at that very moment in your arms.
2. Compliments - Since words of affirmation is my love language, I gladly will take a compliment any day. My Kaylee is an awesome compliment giver. "Thanks for dinner, Momma, I loved it!" "Good job on going potty, Mom!" Ella's compliments are usually full of grunting and then followed by a giant hug.
3. Hugs and Kisses - From their first slobbery kisses to their big smooches on my cheek once they learn how to do it the right way. From the "I have a boo-boo hug" to the big bear hug. I love them all.
4. Teaching New Things - It is so fascinating how quickly that they learn and grow. Kaylee's vocabulary grows daily and Elanor amazes me in how grown up she plays. It is fun when they pick up on new things. (Unfortunately, they pick up on not so good behaviors as well.)
5. Play Time - I love watching the girls play. They run around the house making messes and pulling out toys I forgot we even owned. They hold hands and run down the hall together. They are sweet friends and I love to see that!
6. Dance Parties - Dancing around the house used to be pretty boring when I was working the moves by myself while Adam was at work. Now I have two little buddies to dance around with me. Our favorite dance is The Interlude. One of my friends thinks it is pretty lame, but she hasn't seen my girls do it. They make it the coolest dance on the planet. Hands down. Here is the original video if you have never heard of it before.
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1. Snuggles - Let's face it, nobody snuggles like a child. Those little pudgy arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing as if life depended on it. Their head rested on your chest and their heart pumping slowly because they are so secure at that very moment in your arms.
2. Compliments - Since words of affirmation is my love language, I gladly will take a compliment any day. My Kaylee is an awesome compliment giver. "Thanks for dinner, Momma, I loved it!" "Good job on going potty, Mom!" Ella's compliments are usually full of grunting and then followed by a giant hug.
3. Hugs and Kisses - From their first slobbery kisses to their big smooches on my cheek once they learn how to do it the right way. From the "I have a boo-boo hug" to the big bear hug. I love them all.
4. Teaching New Things - It is so fascinating how quickly that they learn and grow. Kaylee's vocabulary grows daily and Elanor amazes me in how grown up she plays. It is fun when they pick up on new things. (Unfortunately, they pick up on not so good behaviors as well.)
5. Play Time - I love watching the girls play. They run around the house making messes and pulling out toys I forgot we even owned. They hold hands and run down the hall together. They are sweet friends and I love to see that!
6. Dance Parties - Dancing around the house used to be pretty boring when I was working the moves by myself while Adam was at work. Now I have two little buddies to dance around with me. Our favorite dance is The Interlude. One of my friends thinks it is pretty lame, but she hasn't seen my girls do it. They make it the coolest dance on the planet. Hands down. Here is the original video if you have never heard of it before.
7. Singing - Singing with and to my girls is one the many highlights of the day. It really goes hand in hand with the dancing because when we start singing, we start dancing. I know I have told you to check out For King and Country before and that you might be tired of hearing about them, but they are awesome. And I love that the girls sing along and ask for specific songs by name.
8. Cooking - My girls love to cook! Anytime I start getting bowls and pans out, I hear little feet running to the kitchen to see if they can help. It is so much more fun to have little helping hands!
9. Clothes - Who knew getting dressed was so much fun? I really enjoy picking clothes out for the girls which is funny because I have never really cared much about clothes for myself as long as I am comfy. But with my girls, they are like having LIVE Barbies. SOOOO FUN! :0)
10. Reading - I have always enjoyed reading. It relaxes me and gives me an escape. While we tend to read the same books over and over, I enjoy every second of reading to my girls. I love when they get their books and come climb up on the couch with me and we all read our own books. Such a blast!
What are some of your favorite things about being a Momma/Daddy?
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
You're Not Alone
Over the last 9 months God has walked me through some really tough moments. This morning I heard this beautiful song by Meredith Andrews and it brought me to tears as I was reminded of how God has truly never left my side and has loved me all my life. He walks with me through whatever comes my way. This morning, may this song encourage you the way it has me.
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
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