Friday, December 20, 2013

One Year

A year ago today we lost our 3rd baby.

As I look at my Charlotte, I cannot fathom not ever knowing her. My heart overflows with delight and love for her. She stirs emotions in my heart that are at times overwhelming. A sense of overwhelming joy.  I have never given much thought to how Noah must have felt when that rainbow appeared until now.

Rain for 40 days and nights would be so tiring and depressing. I can barely make it through a week of rain before I start grumbling about it. And to go through all of that rain and finally set foot on dry land and see that beautiful rainbow break through the clouds... remarkable. A moment of sheer unspeakable joy. Now I know in Noah's case, it was literal rain, but for me life's storms and real storms both bring out the darkest emotions in me. And when that storm finally eases up. And the sunshine barely peeks out of the clouds just enough to present one of the most beautiful displays of color the world has ever seen. My heart soars knowing the storm has passed if just for a moment. One moment to breathe and thank God for such a beautiful moment.

That beautiful rainbow is my Charlotte.

And as I reflect on the storm. And the depth of pain and heartache that came with it. And remember my sweet baby that I will never see this side of eternity. I thank God for my little rainbow. The rainbow that would have never existed if I hadn't faced that storm.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Our Church Family

Between 3 doctor visits for Charlotte, 1 doctor visit for Adam, 1 call to 911, 1 trip to the ER, taking our fur baby Titus to a shelter, lack of sleep from having a newborn, colds for all of us girls, and making the transition from being a family of 4 to being a family of 5 the last 5 weeks have gone by in a blur.

In spite of all the craziness, these weeks have been wonderful. Wonderful because of the beautiful baby that I hold in my arms. Wonderful because the girls love their little sister. And truly wonderful because of our church family.

Our church family is incredible when it comes to families having babies. For the last 5 weeks people have provided our family a meal 3 days a week. This is such an incredible blessing. I cannot express to you how amazing it is to not have to stress out about meals on top of everything else. It is a marvelous gift that I personally am extremely grateful for.

To all of those that provided a meal for us, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
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