Saturday, December 20, 2014

Do you run?

Up until about 2 months ago, my answer to this question would have been, "Of course I run. Every time someone rings my doorbell and I am still in my pajamas, I run to hide or put normal clothes on."

I have always hated running and the idea of running. I am sure at some point in my life someone must have laughed or teased me about it because one of the main reasons I hated it is because I felt like I looked ridiculous doing it. I am also pretty slow. And for someone as competitive as me, I hated it when we would have races in elementary school P.E. class.

There you have it. My history. I am not a runner. And have always hated running.

Enter in my brother.

When I went to visit he and Rachel in October, I was challenged to do more about the lifestyle of laziness that I had chosen for myself. Some would argue that I was still in the first year post baby and that I have plenty of time to worry about that later, but it really had nothing to do with the sweet little girl I was chasing around and everything to do with my own struggle with sin.

I just want to sit around and eat sweets and never get off of the couch.

Sounds pretty lame when you just type it out for the world to see, and honestly I have never verbally said those words, but that is the underlying thought.

So, back to the story. Michael and I were discussing laziness and then jokingly I said, "Maybe we should run a 5k together." Michael was supposed to laugh and say something snarky, but instead said something to the effect of, "yeah, that is a great idea."

Somehow my friend Annie got wind of this semi-decision, and sent me a link to a 5k that was about donuts. This girl knows the way to my motivate me. Donuts. I registered before I changed my mind.

Today, I ran that 5k.

I ran today to prove to myself that I can get off the couch and don't have to be the lazy girl that I don't want to be. And I highly recommend the cto5k app. 8 weeks ago, I couldn't run for 60 seconds without feeling like I could die. Today I ran 3 miles in 35 minutes and 30 seconds only slowing down for donuts of course. If I can do it, you can do it!


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Pool of Entrapment

Something I have been thinking about for almost a year now is finally making it's way into the pages of my blog. 

I find sin to be interesting. Interesting because my sin won't look like your sin. My sin is my own. My struggles are my own. My temptations may not be ones that tempt you.

There was a time in my past when I remember how slowly sin took over. We are warned that Satan is the great deceiver and in my case I did not heed the warning as I should have by guarding myself against him.

This summer I went to the pool. A lot. When I go to the pool, I like to dip my toe in first to see how cold it is. Usually nodding to myself and thinking it feels a little cold, but good because of the heat. Then, I slowly put my whole foot in for one more test. Manageable cold. Worth it. I go to the steps and slowly step by step immerse myself into the pool until I am completely up to my chin in water. When it is time to go I don't want to leave. It took a lot of time getting used to the temperature. I don't want other people to see they way I look as I get out. Plus, it is going to be so cold. Brr. I wait a little longer.

That is exactly how I had given into sin.

I had this one little taste of sin. And it didn't seem so bad. Satan helped deceive me. "Why did people say this was wrong? Meh. It really was ok. Slowly, my whole foot went in. Still - fine. As my body immersed in this pool, I was blinded by justification. Lies. Slowly my sin isolated me from everyone that I loved. I was living in sin. Waiting in the pool of my sin. Comfortable. Blindly wandering around in the dark and completely oblivious to where I was.

I remember one day looking at my life. Really looking. Seeing my sin. Recognizing that it was sin for the first time. And seeing the pool. And realizing that I didn't know how to get out. I was scared. And alone. Leaving my sin behind would bring a new isolation as I would be letting go of the only people that I still had in my life. Leaving my sin behind meant freedom though. I wanted freedom.

My heart and soul cried out to God. "Please! Help me! Get me out of my sin. I can't do it alone. I don't have the strength. I need You!"

God heard my cry. He answered the very next day. He released me from my sin.

It was not easy leaving my sin. I had hurt so many people. Trust was broken with many and I had to prove I was trustworthy all over again. Honestly, this step took years.

There were new relationships that came to be where I had to, needed to, share my history. It saddened my heart to share this, but I needed them to know. To forgive me.

My getting out of the pool was so difficult. Letting go of all of the lies that I had been told and remembering what I was working toward.


Redemption with God. Redemption with friends. Redemption with family.

This holiday season as I look back, I am so grateful that God heard my cry.
Psalm 40:2 says, "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."
I am ending with a verse from a song that we sang in my church growing up:
My heart was distressed ’neath Jehovah’s dread frown,
And low in the pit where my sins dragged me down;
I cried to the Lord from the deep miry clay,
Who tenderly brought me out to golden day.
He brought me out of the miry clay,
He set my feet on the Rock to stay;
He puts a song in my soul today,
A song of praise, hallelujah!
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