A Renewed Kind of Love

Recently I have tried something new. In the midst of whatever kind of day I am having, I pick up the closest of my little girls and simply whisper "I love you very much" to them. Their response is one that ultimately brings tears to my eyes. They give me a HUGE smile, wrap their arms around me, and give me a bear hug.

As I stood in the kitchen holding my almost 5 year old Kaylee, I contemplated the miracles that each of my children are. 

I loved my girls before they were ever born. Through 9 months of carrying them. Feeling them move. Seeing and hearing their hearts beat. Delivering them. Seeing them for the first time. I did not think my love could be greater than that.

Until we lost sweet baby D.

My love for my children, which can sometimes be skewed by my own sinful nature and by their bad behavior, was renewed. And so much more than I could ever imagine.

And I am reminded that life is such a miracle. And should not be taken for granted. 

So, try it. Pick up one of your children. Tell them you love them. When they least expect it.  Let their response bring joy to your day. Save their response in your heart.

One Year

A year ago today we lost our 3rd baby.

As I look at my Charlotte, I cannot fathom not ever knowing her. My heart overflows with delight and love for her. She stirs emotions in my heart that are at times overwhelming. A sense of overwhelming joy.  I have never given much thought to how Noah must have felt when that rainbow appeared until now.

Rain for 40 days and nights would be so tiring and depressing. I can barely make it through a week of rain before I start grumbling about it. And to go through all of that rain and finally set foot on dry land and see that beautiful rainbow break through the clouds... remarkable. A moment of sheer unspeakable joy. Now I know in Noah's case, it was literal rain, but for me life's storms and real storms both bring out the darkest emotions in me. And when that storm finally eases up. And the sunshine barely peeks out of the clouds just enough to present one of the most beautiful displays of color the world has ever seen. My heart soars knowing the storm has passed if just for a moment. One moment to breathe and thank God for such a beautiful moment.

That beautiful rainbow is my Charlotte.

And as I reflect on the storm. And the depth of pain and heartache that came with it. And remember my sweet baby that I will never see this side of eternity. I thank God for my little rainbow. The rainbow that would have never existed if I hadn't faced that storm.

Charlotte's Birth Story

On Monday when I woke up pregnant, I knew it was time to call my doctor and change my Tuesday appointment to an induction if possible. My contractions had been coming consistently for over 2 weeks and were waking me up most nights making sleep impossible.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 am and we were immediately taken to a room.  I'll be honest. It was so very strange going to the hospital in order to have a baby versus going because I was in labor. Come to find out though that my morning discomfort was actually contractions that were 8 minutes apart. Once they had me hooked up to all the monitors and had my IV in, they checked me and I was 5 cm dilated already. The nurses said that if I had stuck to my normal appointment that afternoon, the doctor would have sent me over to the hospital to deliver anyways.

At 8:30 they started me on the lowest dose of pitocin. This made my contractions slightly closer together, but I don't feel like they really turned painful until the doctor broke my water about 30 min later. From that point labor moved quickly. We tried to play a game, but labor became so difficult that we were not able to finish the game before the baby came. Around 10:40 I started feeling some pressure to push, but after asking the nurse when they were going to check me for dilation again I decided that maybe I was wrong. 15 minutes later I was certain that I was getting close to pushing and asked the nurse to check me. She checked me and I was 9 cm. They quickly brought in the doctor and prepared for delivery. As soon as the doctor arrived she checked me to make sure that I could push and I was at 10 cm. 3 pushes later and Charlotte Faye entered the world. 

And she is beautiful. I love her.

Charlotte Faye 11/12/13 Born at 11:08 am. 8 pounds 11 ounces 21 inches

39 Weeks

Well, I made it to 39 weeks. It is hard to believe that 39 weeks have flown by. Flown is probably not the right word. Most weeks have crawled by. Especially the weeks that we were trying to sell our house. 

But here we are. I am quite ready to meet this little girl. Sleep has become uncomfortable and rare. Walking and getting things done have been difficult.

There is this tiny part of me that wants the pregnancy to last a little longer. Since this will be our last pregnancy, I would like to savor those last precious kicks, nudges, and hiccups. Hearing that heartbeat at the appointments and seeing my completely round tummy in the mirror. (still so strange and new to me)  

This is the first pregnancy that my belly button has popped. (I have a freckle on the inside of my belly button and never knew!) This is the first pregnancy that I have craved salt instead of sugar. (Hello McDonald's fries.) And the first pregnancy that I have actually nested. (Cleaning is done and I am making homemade bread.) It is truly amazing to me that with all 3 girls I have had some major differences between pregnancies.

Hopefully, our newest addition will be the focus of my next post. :)

Happy Wednesday and happy 39 weeks to me! The end is in sight!

My Reflection

In our old house all of our mirrors were high. So when I looked at my reflection, I simply saw myself from the chest and up.

One of the last days in the old house, I went in to put some laundry away in Kaylee's room and was surprised by the very pregnant woman looking back at me. Her dresser is usually stacked high with pillows so I still only get the partial view of myself, but this day the pillows were on the floor.

Our new house gives me the whole view of myself every time I go to the bathroom. It still amazes me how surprised I am by my pregnant reflection. We have been in the house for 5 days now, you would think I would be used to it. I know that I am pregnant and have been for 35 weeks, but seeing myself pregnant is crazy weird.

I am looking forward to the last few weeks of my pregnancy and getting to watch my belly grow before Charlotte arrives. Maybe I will even be able to tell when she drops. :)

Boy or Girl

Tomorrow we find out the sex of the baby.

To say I am anxious would be an understatement.

Elanor wants another sister. Kaylee wants a brother like her friends Anelise, Leah, and Addison.

I love my girls. They are best friends. And a bond that I never had with my brother. Sisters.

If this baby is another girl, I will be happy for her that she and her sisters will grow up close and have that sisterly bond. Clothes will not be an issue because we are swimming in girl clothes.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn't hope this baby is a boy. A boy that Adam can take hunting and fishing. A boy that he can wrestle with. A boy that can carry on the family name. A boy to play in the dirt and collect sticks.

When Adam and I first got married, he always said he wanted 5 boys. Right now we are on target for 5 girls.

If you know me, you know I will be happy no matter the outcome of tomorrow's ultrasound. I simply want a beautiful healthy growing baby. I am so thankful that we are finally at this point in the pregnancy.

Until tomorrow.

13 Weeks

Today is the last day of the 1st trimester. That feels so good to say.

The idea of this shirt I, of course, got off of Pinterest. The girl that made it, made hers much easier since she had a cricut cutter. I used some 0-9 stencils and stenciled each number on individually with fabric paint. I mark the numbers off using a fabric marker that dries pretty fast. 

I really like doing something different for this pregnancy since it is such a special pregnancy to me. What are some things you like to do to document your pregnancies?

Pregnancy After Loss

Over the last two weeks I have spent a lot of time thinking about the baby that we lost. It is surreal to think about the fact that in order for this baby to have life, my other baby had to die. This little one in my womb would have never been had my third baby survived.

Monday night I felt this baby move for the first time. This is the best feeling in the world, whether you have lost another child or not. If you ask any expecting mother what her favorite part about being pregnant, her answer will most likely be feeling the baby move. Monday night. For me. It was so much more. It was relief. Followed by longing of the baby I never felt move. Joy. And truly my first real sense of excitement about being pregnant again.

I know to some that may seem strange. But honestly this pregnancy is so different than my other pregnancies. Having never experienced pregnancy loss before, I looked at my other pregnancies as "when". Like when I am 12 weeks, I will finish this trimester. When I am 20 weeks, I should start showing. Losing our precious 3rd baby has made this an "if" pregnancy. If I make it to 12 weeks, my chances of miscarrying drop significantly. If I make it to 18 weeks, we get to find out what we are having. It is not intentional. I am not living in fear. Or worry. It just is how it is. It is just different.

A good way to describe it is that I am all of a sudden keenly aware that having a healthy pregnancy resulting in the birth of a healthy baby is a HUGE MIRACLE!

Even more so since Kaylee is super fascinated by the baby. There are some videos on Babycenter.com that show the weeks of pregnancy and in them they explain the different parts of development that take place during those weeks. Kaylee will ask me to watch these over and over. And each time we watch them I am more and more amazed at the intricate way God knits us together in the womb. Seriously. A miracle.

Hopefully, over the next few months my view will change and this pregnancy will have it's "whens." But if not, I will continue to enjoy and celebrate each little moment of this baby's life. No matter how long his or her life is. This baby is a miracle and I love him or her with all of my heart.

Baby Update

So sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I have had several of you asking how my appointment went and I have been feeling so terrible that I have not made the time to sit down and write.

My appointment went great! The baby is measuring exactly as it should in relation to the ultrasound I had last week. I was amazed at how much bigger it was after just one week. Seriously, y'all, human life is such a miracle. The heartbeat was much stronger and faster than last week. For me this was a huge relief. Last week it had been a little slow and the ultrasound tech said that was normal for how small it was, but it freaked me out. So hearing it beat strong and fast made me tear up a bit in relief.

I must say this baby is taking everything out of me. Sleep does not come often enough. I could sleep all day and all night I think and still feel tired. I have also had some extreme nausea. I never thought it could be possible to feel more nauseated than when I was pregnant with Elanor without actually throwing-up, but OH YES! It is possible! I spend most days wanting to lay around and do absolutely nothing but hold on to a pillow and bucket. Let me be clear though.

I am so grateful for how I feel. I am not complaining to you here.

My being sick is a good sign.

It does, however, keep me from spending time on my blog.

With that being said, I hope all of you are doing well. I am going to go nap until the girls wake up.

Thank you for all the prayers. You all have made me feel so loved. Thank you.

The Baby's Heartbeat

Yesterday I was able to hear the prettiest sound in the whole world. 

My 4th baby's heartbeat.

Yes, reader, we are pregnant again. 

It is interesting because I am not not excited. But it is not the same excitement that I felt with my first 3 babies. And so far I haven't been overly anxious or stressed. Occasionally, anxiety has been creeping in, but God has been so gracious to offer me peace when I have asked for it. I cling to Philippians 4:6-7 which says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

My appointment yesterday was a little disappointing because we found out I was not as far along as we thought. And that did bring about nervousness in the pit of my stomach. But I am truly at peace with whatever happens. God was with me when my other baby joined Him in Heaven and He is with me now as I carry this new little life inside of me.  He walks with me and I am trusting in Him completely.

We have another ultrasound next week to make sure that the baby is growing as it should. So thankful to hear that little heartbeat again so soon. 

You Will WANT to Read This

I HAVE to share this amazing story of how great God is and how He used my cousin's story to save another baby's life.

***Please keep in mind that this is not a political post, it is to testify to God's goodness and grace.***

SO, my Uncle Joel posted this sweet blip about his daughter Paulina on Facebook and I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to share it on my page. This is what it said:


"Today, my heart feels broken for young women who are dealing with unplanned pregnancies - wondering what they should do.

Around this time of year, six years ago, a young Mexican teenager found out she was pregnant. Too young to care for her baby; especially a baby with special challenges - she could have aborted her precious gift.

Instead, she chose life. She courageously and painfully chose life.

That burden she carried for nine months - and still carries with her in her heart today, became one of our most incredible blessings.

To the nameless, valiant young woman in Mexico - thank you for bringing Paulina into the world. May you experience God's fullness and loving embrace through those who are following Him!"

Well, the next day when I got up I had a comment on my status that still gives me goosebumps and makes me tear up when I read it from my friend Jeni from college. Check it out:

"Krista please pass this on to your uncle, I volunteer at the Republican Party of Milwaukee County’s office, and a women came in yelling about what a terrible person Mitt Romney is how dare he medal in women’s choices. And can I as a self respecting women ever vote for him. I had just finished reading this on facebook, so I read it to her and showed her this beautiful picture. Instantly she burst into tears she couldn't even talk, after she calmed down she gave me a huge hug and proceeded to tell me that she just came from planned parenthood right up the road and found out she was pregnant. She had made an appointment to have an abortion, (it was at planned parenthood she read a poster about how Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan are against abortion and want to outlaw it) But after seeing this beautiful girl's picture she put a face on her unborn baby and realized it truly was a living thing. After sitting, talking and praying with her. I gave her my phone number and the number to a crisis pregnancy organization in Milwaukee. But she assured me that she couldn't abort this baby, and she wanted me to thank the person who posted this and give an extra big hug to this beautiful little girl, because you all saved a child’s life.

Please keep Ashandi & her unborn baby in your prayers, that she truly can make the hard choice of giving this baby life. I just had to share this amazing story with you & your family. I will definitely keep you all posted if I hear anything more."

Isn't that AMAZING???? Only God could have orchestrated those chain of events. I was so excited that I couldn't help but share it with you!!!

Top 10 Things to Pack for the Hospital

My friend asked for a list of things that others felt were important to pack when having a baby. I immediately responded with my book of an answer. You see, I followed the lists that I found on-line when I was pregnant with Kaylee and I cannot tell you how many loads it took for Adam to finally get everything out of the car and into the room. However, I can tell you, I did not use half of the junk that they tell you to pack. Second time around I was a pro. I knew what I would and would not need and was ready to go. One load. (Which was a good thing since my labor was so short. - Adam might have missed the birth if I had packed as much as I did the first time around.)  Anyways, here is my

Top 10 Things to Pack for the Hospital (per my own experience at MY hospital)

1. Slippers - With Kaylee I did a lot of walking during the first part of labor. It was so nice to have my slippers to walk the halls rather than having to put on some shoes or ruin my socks. They were also nice on the tile after delivery when I had to get up for anything in my room. (or to pee)

2. My own pillow - I am a pillow snob. I have to have my own pillow to sleep comfortably.

3. One pair of clothes for me and baby - I know some people like to be in their own stuff after they deliver, more power to them. My hospital provided a gown and a robe every day. So, if they provide something to wear, why would I dirty up/possibly ruin my own things. Plus, I am all about less laundry. They also provide little onesies and blankets for the baby so I did not have to worry about anything for the baby while in the hospital. (hello - again - less laundry) So, my recommendation is just pack one outfit for you and one outfit for junior. (I also threw in a couple of bows and hats for Ella to wear in pictures.)

4. Bathroom essentials - My hospital provided a towel and blow dryer, but not shower stuff. (I never asked though, so they might have.) Either way, I liked having my own stuff. I will mention here though that I did buy travel sizes for my bag so that I did not have to pack them at the last minute as they were already in my bag. It was also nice once I got home because I am pretty slow at unpacking. No worries - my stuff was still in the shower.

5. iPod - I intended to use my iPod during labor and delivery. HA! Didn't happen. I did use it during the night feedings though. It was so hard to stay awake, so I turned on some loud music to help me keep my peepers open.

6. Laptop - After delivery I wanted to get pictures to family and friends quickly and this was the easiest way. Not to mention the countless hours of Netflix that we watched in between visitors after delivery. The laptop was really nice to have. (Oh and I could charge my iPod on it.)

7. Camera and charger - I am a picture freak! I LOVE taking pictures! I wanted pictures and video of both girls right after birth for memories. This is probably, in my opinion, the most important thing to take with me.

8. Phone charger - eh... this one is obvious.

9. Your husband's bag - I actually almost forgot to pack Adam's stuff this time around. Fortunately, we live close enough that Adam could have run home and gotten some. I just don't like being left alone in the hospital so I am glad I remembered. (His bag should include 4 days of clothing and his shower essentials.)

10. Carseat - They won't let you take the baby home without it. (I almost forgot this as well.)

If you want the "things that are not worth your time to pack for the hospital" list - just shoot me an email and I will give it to you. :o)

Top 10 Things to Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby

Now that we are on kid number 2, Adam and I have been debating about having another kid. This debate (and my current lack of sleep) has spurred my

Top 10 Things to Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby

1. Am I ready spiritually? Kids are a ton of work. As with marriage, your relationship with God is key to being a parent. Kaylee is hitting the terrible two's (sadly) and requires LOTS of patience. This is not a fruit of the spirit that I am "fruitful" in.  There are so many days where I either beg God for patience or have to ask Kaylee to forgive me for losing my patience with her. Add to that my lack of sleep from being up with Ella at night and I am not the kindest person in the world. Ironic though that in 1 Corinthians the first two words used to tell what love is are the two things I really struggle with sometimes. Patience and kindness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Don't even get me started on the things I am lacking in the rest of that passage. Either way, if you are not ready to face the facts that you have areas in which you need to work on spiritually or if you are stagnant or do not have a relationship with God at all, you should probably think twice before popping out children.

2. Is my marriage ready for kids? Again, can I just say, kids are a lot of work! Marriage is a lot of work in itself and does not need the added struggle of kids if it is a rocky road in itself. If your marriage needs some work first, check out my Top 10 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Hot for my own marriage checklist.  I cannot imagine how bad things would be if Adam and I were on the outs. When it comes to kids, you have to be a team. Working. Supporting. Helping. Having kids comes a lot easier if you have your helpmate by your side. If your marriage is great, then you may be ready for little Junior.

3. Am I ready to give up my "me" time? Let me first say that if you have a wonderful spouse like I do, you will still be able to have "me" time. However, overall, your "me" time becomes "our" time once you have a baby. Babies require your undivided attention. So, that hour that you used to spend unwinding by watching television or playing on the internet is now spent playing with your baby or changing diapers. Kaylee is at the point now where she wants your attention as soon as you walk in the door. After a long day of work, you don't necessarily feel like dealing with a whiny toddler. If you are not ready to spend time with the baby after an exhausting day at work, you probably are not ready to start the reproduction process.

4. Am I ready to give up our "alone" time? As newlyweds you are all about being with your spouse and doing fun things together. You want to do things with other couples. You want to stay up talking until late hours dreaming about the future. After you have a baby, your time together is now spent with a third person. Your date nights can still happen if you want them to, but require a lot more work. You have to find a babysitter. You have to work it out where you can go when it is not time to feed or make sure to leave a bottle. Your late night hours are spent holding, changing, and nursing a baby. All the things you used to do together, are now things you do with a baby present. You can still do those things, but that time is much different with a baby around. No more quick runs to Wal-Mart at 3am for toilet paper - at least not together. If you are ready to give up your time "alone" together, then maybe you are ready to add that 3rd family member.

5. Am I ready to put forth the time and energy it takes to have a baby? New babies take energy all hours of the day and night. Late night feedings and whatnot. If you only have one baby, you may find time to rest if you are not working and can sleep while they sleep. With two kids, you don't have time to sleep because you have to chase around your older kid while the other one sleeps. Babies need lots of love and attention. This takes time. If you have lots of time and need to burn some energy, babies may be right up your alley.

6. Am I ready for all the baby stuff? Baby stuff is everywhere. You may not be a clean freak like I am so this question might not be for you. Just move on to number 7. However, you guys out there that think everything has a place - this one is just for you. Right now as I am writing this, I look around my living room and see the clutter of baby stuff. In 2009 before Kaylee was born, my living room looked so different. I had two couches, an ottoman, a tv stand, and two side tables. Now you can add to that the pack-n-play, the bouncy seat, Kaylee's little chair, a baby doll crib, a basket full of toys, other smaller toys that sit next to it, and a large stack of books.  We keep it fairly organized and in it's place, but it is still a lot of stuff. Something that you definitely have to get used to. If the idea of having cute little baby things scattered about your house makes you excited, having a baby will help you make it extra scattered.
 
7. Do we have room for a baby? This is something I wish we would have considered before buying a car. Now we are stuck with a car much too small for our expanding family. If we would have thought about this early on, maybe we could have saved ourselves from being sardines and purchased a larger vehicle in advance. This is also something to think about as far as your home goes. Maybe you don't have an extra room for the baby.  If you don't have room, then you won't have space to fill it with your own little addition.


8. Are we financially ready for a baby? This is a really good question to think about. Not necessarily as the deciding factor, but to prepare yourself mentally for the difference in your finances.  Last year we spent $3821.28 on childcare and our general "baby" section of our budget. This does not include clothing. It is mainly diapers and other baby items that we may have bought over the course of the year. Throw in all the clothes and doctor's visits and you are looking at about $5000 added to your spending over the year. (This does not include your labor and delivery costs.) Maybe you want your baby to sport the finer things. You can expect to spend even more. If your finances seem to be pretty steady and you think you can find wiggle room for several thousands of dollars, you may just be ready for having a little tax deduction.


9. What stage of life are our friends? I find this question pretty important. One of my friends called me the pioneer of our friend group as I was the first to have a baby in the group. It was so difficult because when I was pregnant, all I wanted to talk about was being pregnant. Once I had the baby, all I wanted to talk about was having the baby and what she was doing at the time. Maybe you had the same experience after you got married. That feeling of now that I am married, I want to talk with my girl friends about being married. My friends did finally catch up with me, but it was probably the hardest transition I have ever had to make alone. If your friends seem to be on the baby move, then you may want to jump on the baby boom bandwagon.


10. Are you ready physically to have a baby? Having a baby takes a huge toll on your body. Even though you are having a baby, there are days when you feel fat and ugly. Once the baby comes, then you have to deal with the aftermath of the awkward belly flab, stretch marks, healing, and the line that runs down the middle of your belly that wants to stay with you until your babies graduate from college. Add to all of that, exhaustion, fatigue, leaking nursers, and hormonal changes. If you are not ready to take all of that on, then you may not be ready to grow a baby.


Please understand that simply answering yes or no to one of these questions alone does not answer the yes or no to whether or not you are ready to have a baby. That is why I have 10 questions.  I think you (as a couple) need to answer all of them to get a true picture of what life would be like with a baby and know if you are ready for a baby or not. Plus, as a couple take time to pray about it. (going back to question 1)  There are so many joys of having a baby/kids, but I also want to be real with you that they take work and require that you are ready to be the most selfless person that you have ever been. If you can't handle both sides of that equation, then as much as the idea of a baby excites you, you probably are not ready for one.  

Induction

So, I called my doctor today to get an update as to what the plan will be for the weekend as I am a planner and want to know what is ahead. Plus, my parents are going crazy waiting. (So that is where I get my impatience from.) Anyways, originally my doctor had said she was not going to let me go past the weekend simply because of my size so I knew induction possibly was coming for the weekend.

Well, after my call - it is official. Induction is scheduled for Friday morning. It is so weird knowing that if Ella does not come between this moment and Friday morning that she for sure will be here Friday.


I am really nervous. Please pray for us if you think of us.

Braxton Hicks Attack Again

Contractions started around 9pm, but they were irregular until about 9:30. I started timing them at about 9:45. They were once again 10 minutes apart.

I went to take a shower to see if they would stop. They didn't.

By 10:45, they had been consistent every 10 minutes and were getting harder.

I called the on-call doctor because my personal doctor told me to call if they were 10 minutes apart. (She thinks my labor will move quickly.) The on-call doctor told me to try to get some sleep and call back when they are 5 minutes apart.

I finally fell asleep close to midnight. Contractions kept coming and waking me up because of how strong they were, but I was able to get a little sleep in between.  I kept waking up every hour after that. I would try to time them and fall asleep doing so.  Then, I would dream that I was timing them. That was worse because those were much closer together than my real contractions.

Anyways, around 1, contractions were 8 minutes apart and I was wondering if I should get up and start getting final things ready to go, but my tiredness won out and I fell back to sleep.

At 3 I got up to go the bathroom and kept myself awake for a bit to continue timing them.  That is when I realized that they were not coming as strong and were not as consistent as they had been. By 3:30, I knew for sure. They had stopped.

I still woke up to pee of course at around 4:30. I finally slept great from about 6:30 when Adam left for work until about 8:30 when Kaylee woke up.

It was a long night with the only outcome being that Adam still went to work today.

(I write all this down so that I can remember and someday share it with Ella.)

Due Date - Maybe TMI for Some

Well, today is officially my due date and at this moment this baby is showing no signs of knowing that today is the day.

It is fine. I have made my peace with this child being a late baby.

I think if Kaylee would have been late, I would not have had this expectation that this baby would be early.  It doesn't help any that I have been measuring several weeks large with this baby since about 30 weeks.  The 2 previous appointments I have been 2-3cm dilated and 90% effaced, meaning my body is making progress toward labor. At my appointment yesterday I was deemed a "tight 3" and still 90%.  At every appointment the doctor is surprised and says, "I really don't think you will make it to your next appointment."

We will see, I suppose.

Joyful Moment of the Day: The sun is out and it is sooooo nice outside!!!

10 Minutes Apart

So, my daughter is not even born yet and she is already teasing me.

Yesterday during my final board game of the evening I started having contractions. (around 4:15pm)

I did not say anything because I was too focused on the game at hand. After my bathroom visit, however, I was noticing that they were pretty close together.

When the game was finished, I went to get Kaylee from her Mamaw and Poppy's where she had spent the weekend and I timed the contractions the whole way there. 10 minutes apart.

By the time I got there, I was not even sure if I should pick Kaylee up because of how consistent they were.

I decided to take Kaylee home simply because she needed some time with her Mommy and Daddy before Ella came into the world.

I timed the contractions the whole way home. Sometimes 8 minutes apart.

I have to admit I was getting pretty excited. I got home and started unpacking Kaylee's dirty laundry and repacking things that I thought she would need just in case. Then, I got the living areas picked up a little and showered. Still timing contractions.

Finally, I sat down to watch a movie and fold laundry. I stopped focusing on contractions and started focusing on the movie. Finally, Adam asked me if I was still timing them and I realized I had not had one in a while.

3 hours. 10 minutes apart. Nothing to show for it.

This kid is such a tease.

First Ever Nesting Experience

I know. I know. I am on a posting spree.

I finally had my first ever "nesting" experience.  Markita, my fabulous Mother-in-Law, came over yesterday to clean for me. Knowing that she was coming motivated me to try to get some stuff done that I have been putting off because I usually need to do the things that Markita was going to do for me. With the time and opportunity, I decided to be supermom and do it all.

I cleaned the stove, oven, coffeemaker, and microwave.
I painted Kaylee's letters for her room orange and her shadow boxes two different shades of pink.
I washed 3 loads of laundry. Folded one load and put it away. (Sadly the others are still downstairs.)
I went to Sams to get much needed toilet paper and paper towels and a few other items.
I went to Wal-Mart to get some stuff I forgot to have Adam get when he lovingly went to the store for me, plus the ice cream that I desperately needed.
I changed the sheets on our bed and cleaned our room.
I emptied the dishwasher and re-loaded it.
I finished my Bible study homework.
I made dinner.
I felt accomplished and tired, but thankfully did not induce labor nor have a baby.

Markita cleaned my floors and bathrooms, which takes hours to complete (even longer when you are pregnant). I cannot thank her enough!!!  My house felt like it had a scrub down.

It was such a good day. My body hurts today from all I did, but I consider it well worth it to know that when Ella comes my life is going to be extremely busy and that I will not have time to do most of those things.

As far as an Ella update goes - I am hoping she stays in there until Sunday evening. We have our local boardgaming convention this weekend and as geeky as this sounds, I am really looking forward to it. I am playing in the Tichu tournament on Friday evening with my buddy Katherine. We have a huge raffle on Saturday and I hope to win a game. Plus, I get to play games with my hubby. I don't get to do that much anymore since we tag team at our game days to take care of Kaylee.  So, yes, as weird as it sounds - please Ella wait until Sunday evening to get the ball rolling.

Joyful Moment of the Day: Beat Adam at Thurn and Taxis tonight. I usually lose at this game and the best part was that he kept telling Kaylee to come sit with him and see how he wins. Not this time...

The Somewhat Decision

First of all, I truly appreciate everyone's responses. I see all of them as extremely helpful and insightful.

With that being said, I have decided to play it by ear.

From my first birthing experience I know the following:

• I can have a baby without pain medication.
• Back labor sucks.
• Sleep is important.
• I will not care if I can stand up after delivery.
• It grosses me out to visually think that a tube may be placed into my back.

So, I think when Ella decides to make her debut, there will be several factors playing into whether or not I decide to get the Epidural.

Factors Include:

• How much sleep I have had prior to labor.
• If I am experiencing bad back labor.
• If I can get over the visual of the tube in my back.

I believe that if my water breaks right at bed time again that I would definitely consider getting the Epidural. I pushed for almost 3 hours with Kaylee because I was so exhausted going into my 14 hour labor that I did not have any energy left to push.  I think if I would have had sleep, I would not have pushed for so long.

Back labor plays a smaller role in the thought process simply because I believe labor will be shorter as this is my second birth. Also, it is about pain and I know I can handle this pain even though it is terrible. It still will be in the back of my mind prior to making the decision though because it made the labor as a whole extremely difficult.

The visual is actually a pretty big deal for me. It really grosses me out. If you would like to see the video that I watched here is the link for it. I did not watch this video on purpose. I was just browsing through all of the videos on babycenter.com and that one came on. Once it was on, my curiosity got the best of me and I finished the video. I don't know why, but the tube grosses me out the most.


Bottom line - I really would rather have another natural birth because I know I am capable of it. However, I will consider my options that day/night. Adam is great and supports my decision either way.

Any day now! 

Thanks again for all the responses!  I feel more at ease with the thought of getting one, but also more confident in myself if I decide to not get one. :)

To Epidural or to Not Epidural

I have been contemplating the epidural and after talking to a few people I am quite interested in knowing a few things from all of you.

First of all, if you got the epidural, what made you decide to get it? What, do you feel, are the advantages and disadvantages of having it?

Next, if you got the epidural, how was recovery and what was it like?

If you didn't get the epidural, why not? What were some of your techniques for dealing with the pain?

Also, if you did not get the epidural, how was recovery and what was it like?

If you are not comfortable sharing on here, please email me your thoughts at kristasjoyinthejourney@gmail.com.

Thanks for sharing!