Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Baby Update

So sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I have had several of you asking how my appointment went and I have been feeling so terrible that I have not made the time to sit down and write.

My appointment went great! The baby is measuring exactly as it should in relation to the ultrasound I had last week. I was amazed at how much bigger it was after just one week. Seriously, y'all, human life is such a miracle. The heartbeat was much stronger and faster than last week. For me this was a huge relief. Last week it had been a little slow and the ultrasound tech said that was normal for how small it was, but it freaked me out. So hearing it beat strong and fast made me tear up a bit in relief.

I must say this baby is taking everything out of me. Sleep does not come often enough. I could sleep all day and all night I think and still feel tired. I have also had some extreme nausea. I never thought it could be possible to feel more nauseated than when I was pregnant with Elanor without actually throwing-up, but OH YES! It is possible! I spend most days wanting to lay around and do absolutely nothing but hold on to a pillow and bucket. Let me be clear though.

I am so grateful for how I feel. I am not complaining to you here.

My being sick is a good sign.

It does, however, keep me from spending time on my blog.

With that being said, I hope all of you are doing well. I am going to go nap until the girls wake up.

Thank you for all the prayers. You all have made me feel so loved. Thank you.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Baby's Heartbeat

Yesterday I was able to hear the prettiest sound in the whole world. 

My 4th baby's heartbeat.

Yes, reader, we are pregnant again. 

It is interesting because I am not not excited. But it is not the same excitement that I felt with my first 3 babies. And so far I haven't been overly anxious or stressed. Occasionally, anxiety has been creeping in, but God has been so gracious to offer me peace when I have asked for it. I cling to Philippians 4:6-7 which says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My appointment yesterday was a little disappointing because we found out I was not as far along as we thought. And that did bring about nervousness in the pit of my stomach. But I am truly at peace with whatever happens. God was with me when my other baby joined Him in Heaven and He is with me now as I carry this new little life inside of me.  He walks with me and I am trusting in Him completely.

We have another ultrasound next week to make sure that the baby is growing as it should. So thankful to hear that little heartbeat again so soon. 


Thursday, March 14, 2013

30 Day Shred: Complete!

Over these last couple of weeks I did finish my 30 Days of the 30 Day Shred and I was super pleased with the results. I didn't lose as much weight as I would have liked, but honestly I see such a huge difference in my body I don't really care that my number didn't go down more. I feel better in my own skin and that is what matters to me.

Final Results:
Butt -3 inches
Hips -4 and a 1/2 inches
Waist -6 inches
Thighs -5 and a 1/2 inches
Neck -1 and 1/2 inches
Weight -3 pounds

I am hoping to continue the Shred. It works and since there are 3 levels, I can rotate them in and out. I won't be committing another 30 days straight any time soon, but I want to keep working out 3-4 times a week to help maintain where I am at and hopefully continue to gain muscle.

Crazy Days

Things have been super crazy busy here and so I apologize for my absence. I am here. We just have had a lot going on.

The main reason is that Adam has been spending most of his time working on our 6th annual IndyCon. He spent countless hours working on the website and emailing/calling companies to support the convention. He worked hard and his hard work paid off. The weekend was a huge success.

Over the weekend I played Tzolk'in the Mayan Calendar Game, Lifeboats, Endeavor twice, Pillars of the Earth twice, Trajan, Traders of Carthage,Wits and Wagers, Crokinole, Le Havre, Guild Hall, Tichu, Bora, Bora and Ticket to Ride Africa.

Personally, this year was by far my favorite year. I played lots of different games with lots of different people. I taught several games to other people. But I must say that the best part of the weekend.... well I am torn between two events... The first one is when Anna, Annie, Laura and I came back and won the Wits and Wagers Tournament all on the last question. The second one is when Annie and I both had grand tichu's during our Tichu game. Both things were super fun and exciting, making the weekend a blast for me.

Already looking forward to next year!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Crying Out For Love

Last night I could not fall asleep once I crawled into bed.

My mind whirled with thoughts about God and whether or not He cares about me. Some may look at my life's circumstances and think that I am being ridiculous and overly sensitive. Maybe I am. But right now in this moment I feel completely bombarded by crap. And so alone in it.

So, last night in the silence of our bedroom, I cried out to the Creator of the Universe. Begging Him to reach out to me. To help me feel loved. To show me love. To give me love. And to make it abundantly clear that this is Him telling me He loves me.

When will this dry season end? I am so exhausted of it. 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Spring

Just finished a book called Empty Arms. It was a very good book that helped me process some things and gave me wisdom on how to work through my grief. In the last pages of the book there was one particular thought that stuck out to me.

Winter will end. Spring will come.

When my Momma was diagnosed with breast cancer last year it felt like winter had come and was here to stay. For months I felt grey and dead even when the sun was shining and warm. Then winter truly was arriving and I felt as though spring had just come to some extent and now I had to settle in for true winter?!? I was not ready for it. Needless to say, winter has been really long for me. And I am ready for it to end. PRAISE GOD IT WILL END!

Yesterday I noticed a group of birds on our tree. Spring is coming. I heard them singing. And got giddy with excitement. Our tree out front is beautiful in the spring. It buds and then flowers. Even as the flowers begin to fall after a few weeks, it is a beautiful sight. The leaves make their grand appearance right after. It reminds me that God makes ugly things beautiful.
New Blooms
First Flowers

Flowers Falling
Really old pic of Kaylee, but you can see the tree 
All of life's hardships that come my way because of our fallen nature are made beautiful in time. The hardships end. They may come again. But they will end.

God is so gracious and merciful to us.

Praise the Lord, spring is on it's way!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Heaven Is For Real

Have you read it?

It is a pretty quick read. And a very interesting story.

There were lots of things that made me believe that it was a true story. And a few things that made me think that maybe this family was just a little crazy.

Either way, I found it to be very comforting.  Specifically the chapter where the little boy, Colton, talks about meeting his sister that his parents had miscarried. In the story he talks about how this little girl ran up to him and just kept hugging him. He described to his parents the details of what she looks liked.  And how she told him she died in his Mommy's tummy.

Whether or not it is true, I found comfort in the mental image that it gave me. My sweet baby is in Heaven with Jesus and I firmly believe that. But before this chapter of this book I hadn't given much thought to what that meant.

My sweet baby got to avoid a life of heartache and pain and have a full life of joy and peace. Already with Jesus, I never have to worry about his or her spiritual walk. I picture him or her walking with Jesus and holding His hand along the way.

In this book, Colton had issues with every picture of Jesus until he saw one painted by another little girl that claims to have seen Heaven in visions. She painted this picture of Jesus at age 8. It is truly remarkable. If you want to see more art by this little girl, check it out here.



I recommend this book to anyone facing loss of any kind. Not for the truth that it holds necessarily, but for the comfort that it brings the heart through thinking through the possibilities that Heaven holds.




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