Blogging Award

My bestie, Meggan, from Meggan's Moments nominated me for this award. This is my first blogging award! I am looking forward to passing it on! (Sorry it took me so long, Meggan.)

Here are the rules:

This award is given to new or up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers...the award is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category to help spread the word and support one another.

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, and then create

11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (with less than 200 followers)

to pass the award to and link them in your post.

4. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.

5. No tag backs.

My 11 Random Facts

1.I sniff my children. I love the way they smell. Even when they stink. Because no matter how naughty they are or how much they cry, they are beautiful gifts to me. And being able to smell them is proof that they are really there in my arms at that moment. Smelling them helps me capture that moment.

2.My favorite ice cream right now is Double Dunker made by Turkey Hill. It is amazing, y'all. I could eat it with every meal.

3.When I was pregnant with Kaylee, I once downed two honey buns in under a minute because I "HAD TO HAVE THEM!!!" My brother and his wife have not let me live this down.

4.I HATE cutting nails. I can't stand it when my nails get long, but who has the time to just sit and cut them and file them? And now I have 4 more sets of nails to cut! Seriously, I think God gave us nails so that we have to be still.

5.Hide and Seek is my favorite game to play with my kids. I start out in easy spots and progress to harder spots. Soooo fun!

6.When I turn 30, I would like to dress more fashionably. However, I do not have a fashionable bone in my body.

7.I am a huge procrastinator. Not intentionally. I simply forget about things until it is time to do them.

8.I enjoy scary movies. My friend Starla and my cousin Jonie were my scary movie buddies and since I no longer live near them, I have to convince Adam to watch them with me and he is sort of a wimp when it comes to scary movies.

9.After watching the movie The Private Eyes last night I realized that it is one of the few movies that I could probably quote for someone.

10.I think the old Spider Man movie is better than the new one. Really? A lizard for a villain? Um. No.

11.My husband got me bunny slippers for Christmas and I love them. Soft and comfy.

1. What is one habit you have that people don't know about?
The last thing I say to Adam every night before we fall asleep is I love you.

2. What are your blogging boundaries? What don't you talk about on your blog?
Marital strife. I may talk about something we have have struggled with, but I won't talk about current things we are discussing. And I am careful with what I say about my kids. I don't want them to hate me for what I share about them some day.

3. What is the most romantic thing you have ever experienced?
When we were dating, our first ever Valentine's Day, Adam's Dad came into town. I had been looking forward to a romantic night out with Adam and was a little disappointed that that would not be happening. Adam did security for our school and so when he asked me to help him lock-up that night, I said yes because it was the only alone time we had that day. He told me to meet him at the gym and when I got there I did not see him anywhere. I thought he forgot or something. Anyways, finally he opened the gym door which startled me because the building was dark and looked empty. When I stepped inside he had me take my shoes off and walk with him to the far corner of the gym where he had candles all lit up on the bleachers. Then he stopped and turned on some music, pulled me into the middle of the gym and asked me to dance. After a few dances he gave me my gift. An anklet that had a heart and a key. He told me that I have both his heart and the key to it. He gave me a letter he had written with candy hearts. Most romantic moment ever.

4. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Normal mornings? 30 minutes. If I want to do my hair more than a pony tail? 1.5 hours. (If I have to shower add another hour for blow drying and the shower itself.) That is why my normal is a pony tail. I have too much hair.

5. What is one [material thing] you want but don't have?
A second lens for my camera that works well in low light.
Or a house in the country so that I can get up early without my children waking up.

6. Where can someone find you on your day off?
Well, as a Mom, days off are rare. But I have had a few.
I usually end up at Starbucks for most of it.
Maybe hit some garage sales.
Although, days off usually mean I am with Adam at a gaming convention of some sort. So, check there first.

7. What is the most frustrating part of your day?
Elanor's whining. Hands down.
My patience for the whining is small.
That noise grinds my nerves quicker than anything.

8. What one piece of advice would you give to other bloggers?
Make your blog personal. I know the thing right now is to make your blog about something specific so that you can have followers and get big. But you will lose this reader if you quit making it about you and from your personal perspective. I enjoy the feeling that I am getting to know you through your blog and when you stop making it personal, I lose interest. I know there are people out there that enjoy those types of blogs so I may be alone in my thinking, but hey - this is my advice.

9. On a scale of One to Ten - How would you rate how well you take care of yourself?
Probably a 6. I try to eat well and keep active. I don't always get the hairs cut when I need to or my eyebrows waxed when they are overgrown, but these things are small compared to being healthy.

10.  What are your three biggest blessings?
Adam - so undeserving of such a fabulous husband.
My children - each one is an answer to prayer.
Our Families - Adam and I are so blessed to have families that are in love with Jesus and following Him.

11. Quick! Your child's goldfish is dead! Do you just replace it without telling them? Or explain the after life to your child?
I hate fish. My buddy Kimberly and I had 3 fish commit suicide. Literally jumped out of the bowl.
So, I will go with our cat. If Titus died, I would explain the after life. Simply because it is a fact of life. And they already have some concept of it from the movies they watch. Like Lion King and Beauty and the Beast.

And now for my 11 questions:

1.What is your favorite TV series to watch currently?

2.What is the greatest thing about living where you live?

3.If you are listening to the radio and your favorite song comes on, what is that song?

4.What makes you happy?

5.Do you collect something? What is it?

6.What is the most frivolous reason to celebrate?

7.It's a rainy day and you are stuck inside. What are you doing?

8.What is your biggest pet peeve?

9.What do you want to do when you retire?

10.How do you pamper yourself?

11. What is your favorite love song?

11 Awesome Bloggers That I Nominate:

1.Annie

2.Janna 

3.Kelly

4.Jenna

5.Katherine

6.Lindsay

7.Maggie

8.Lindsey

9.Sarah

10.Sarah

11. Stephanie

Check out their blogs! I think you will be glad that you did!

6 Weeks Pregnant

Today I would have been 6 weeks pregnant. Today I lost my baby.

Did you know that at 5 weeks the baby's heart starts beating and pumping blood? (and yet some people choose to kill their baby after this!)

No words could express to you the deep amount of heartache that I feel right now.

Only tears.

For the last 10 months I have been praying for this baby. Begging God for one more little baby to make our family complete.

For the last 8 days, I have been dreaming about whether it would be a boy or a girl. Settling in my mind what it's name would be for each gender. Picturing myself holding the baby. Talking to him or her. Praying.
Coming up with unique ways to tell family and friends.

Thankfully, we had only told Adam's family.

Wednesday I went to a normal first Dr appt to get a due date, pee in a cup, and get the most updated info on nutrition and the hospital guidelines. The urine test came back negative so the nurse had me get some blood work drawn to double check. I chalked it up to my urine being so diluted, but cried the whole way back to picking up the girls. After a couple of hours I took another test that I had at home and it said that I was pregnant. Yesterday the Dr called to tell me that the blood HCG was positive and wanted me to test again today to make sure my levels were rising. After having the blood drawn, I started spotting. When the Dr called, she simply confirmed that this pregnancy was not going to last.

On Christmas Eve we were going to tell my family. I sewed an extra little pair of pajama pants and was going to act surprised by the final package under the tree and have my Momma open them.

At this very moment I am consumed by my tears of heartache and loss. My soul cries out. I am filled with anguish. Crying helps I think. Maybe because it captures all of the emotion I am feeling all at once and releases it.

I wrote all of that yesterday in a moment of much needed processing. So if it is jumbled and hard to understand, I don't really care. It is for myself that I wrote these things. To remember. To not forget. I love that baby. I want that baby. I prayed for that baby. Just as much as I do and did for my girls.

Last night my husband won an award in my mind. One that I tease him about not having. Last night he showed me compassion. He held me for a very long time and just let me cry. He rubbed my back and simply listened to my sobbing. Thanks Adam for that. It was what I needed. I am sure I will probably need it again.

Kaylee asked me last night why I lost the baby. I am not sure. I asked Adam the same question in my blubbering.

But today. I cling to the promise that God heals the brokenhearted. A Facebook friend posted Psalm 147:3 this morning on his status. It says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Baby 3

Maternity clothes. Pregnant women. Baby clothes.

All reminders of what I won't have on August 16, 2013.

Sadness overwhelms my spirit.

Even when I am enjoying myself.

A part of me is missing.

My baby.

Baby 3.

A Week

A week ago I today I found out that I lost our 3rd baby.

It has been the hardest week of my life.

I think the most difficult part for me is how fresh and raw the pain is to me and not to anyone else. The baby was a part of me.

The pain and crying comes through out the day. During times when I least expect it. A simple word. A small thought. Little things that remind me of my loss.

I was so anxious to tell my family and my excitement for Christmas Eve and Christmas made the holidays themselves really difficult. (Sorry again for being cranky.)

It has helped to be with family, away from home. Lots of distractions and other people to keep me occupied and busy.

As our vacation comes to an end, I find myself getting nervous about the amount of time that I will be spending alone once we are home. At some point I will have to quit avoiding the pain and face it head on. And simply grieve.

Writing helps me process. And remember. So as I go through this, please bear with me.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalms 126:5

Grown-Up Shoes

Fact. I do not think of myself as a grown-up. Not sure why.

Maybe it is because I don't want to grow up. (I am indeed a Toys R Us kid.)

Maybe it is because I still like to have fun and in my mind somewhere I think that grown-ups don't have fun.

Maybe it is because being a grown-up means I am not young.

I don't really know.

At what age should I feel grown-up?

I mean I do have a husband, a house, 2 kids, a cat, and a minivan.

And I am almost 30, people.

I had a moment yesterday. A small moment. When I felt like a grown-up.

I bought my first pair of true to life grown-up heels.

God's Answer

When I was waiting for my Parent's call yesterday I did not expect the answer would be "benign". Not because I lack faith. But because I was trying to be ok with whatever the result ended up being.

See, a month ago my Mom had a rather large and pretty impossible spot to reach that they were fairly certain was still cancer. They were going to do an MRI guided biopsy a few weeks later to be certain that it was just an area that was still healing from radiation. Well, during those few weeks, that spot completely healed. Vanished.

And a new spot had formed.

So when they did the MRI guided biopsy to check the other spot, they instead prepped the new spot. But since it was too close the chest cavity to do the biopsy, they would have to go in surgically to get it. So, that added another few weeks of waiting.

I was preparing myself for the worst. After all, it had been in there for like 5 weeks. And it was brand new.

Dad called me quickly after the doctor's call came in and shared the good news. Benign! That word gives me goosebumps!

God sometimes chooses no as an answer and while I was prepared for that, I am so grateful that His answer was YES! I prayed for healing for my Mom and He provided it graciously. Praise God! Thank you Lord for healing. To You and You alone be the glory, honor, and praise!

Tomorrow's Biopsy

I never thought that my Mom would get cancer. And I am not going to tell you that these last 7 months have been easy. In reality, these months have been some of the hardest I have ever faced. They have been cold. Dry. Cloudy. Lonely.

But.

God.

He has lifted me out of the darkness. He has revealed Himself to me. He has been my solid rock that I cling to.

No, I don't understand why this is a trial my family and I have faced, but I know that God is still God. He is in control. And I trust Him.

Tomorrow my Mom has another biopsy. One that we hope is her last. Benign. If, however, this is not the end of this trial, and it brings more heartache; one thing does not change.

God is still on His throne. And He is still great. And should be worshiped and praised. He sees the whole picture. He knows the goal, the end. And He will be here beside me through the whole thing.

Psalm 62:5-8 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Sexual Purity

As a teenager I went to several different conferences. Among them was one called True Love Waits. I cannot tell you word for word what was said, but the gist was to abstain from sex until marriage. Something that I had heard my entire life.

The problem with that being what I took from the conference was that sex is just one physical act between a man and a woman. Being young and innocent and having no concept that there was more than just that one physical act, I decided that I would stand strong and remain a virgin until I was married.

I am so thankful that I made that decision.

BUT.

I wish that I had taken more from that conference. I wish that someone had pulled me aside and told me that God doesn't call us to just be virgins on our wedding day, but He calls us to be sexually pure.

Being sexually pure brings so much more to the equation.

When I got to college, I decided to start studying exactly what the Bible says about not just sex, but purity.

My favorite passage is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. It says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE.

Christ paid that price with His life. Honor God with your body. What a simple way to bring glory to God.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

In no way did I think that what I did would dishonor my marriage. I wasn't married. In my mind, in order to dishonor my marriage, I had to be married. Um no. Everything you do sexually outside of marriage dishonors your marriage. Not only that, but God will judge the sexually immoral. So even if I hadn't gotten married I would still face consequences for my actions.

The last passage I want to share with you is 1 Timothy 4:12. It says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

As you can see, apparently I just listened to everyone else on matters of the Bible as a teenager and never really picked it up for myself to read it. If I had, I may have seen that these passages do not simply say "flee from sex", "God will judge those who have sex" or "set an example by not having sex".

Yes, they include sex, but it covers everything sexual.

For some it may even include a first kiss or hand holding. If you can't kiss someone and keep your thoughts pure, you shouldn't be kissing them.

Working with students, I see myself in each girl. Wanting to follow God. Wanting to serve Him. Yet so caught up in wanting a boy to like me. A boy to think that I was beautiful and that I was special.

Sadly, my thoughts of myself were small and I did not set my sights on what God thought of me. It wasn't until I was in my freshmen year of college, my first summer really, that I realized that I did not need a guy in my life to feel beautiful and special.

What I needed was God to fill that void.

I took the end of my first semester, all summer, and a little of that next semester to truly see myself through God's eyes. Satan was there waiting to test me. But I held strong.

During that time is when God started making it very clear to me that He had designed someone special for me. Someone who would compliment my strengths and weaknesses perfectly. Someone better than I ever let myself believe I deserved.

My husband.

I hope that when my girls are older they don't have to struggle with the questions and hurts that I did. That they can know clearly that God has called them to be pure. That they are so deeply in love with Him that they feel special and beautiful because they see themselves the way that God sees them. And that if they are called to get married someday, that God has someone wonderful for them. Someone designed specifically for them, better than they could ever imagine for themselves.

TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE BEING A MOMMA

Skimming my old instagram pictures prompted me to think about how much I LOVE being a Mom. Sure, it has it's ups and downs just like everything else in life, but overall I would not trade it for anything else in the world. Here is my TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE BEING A MOMMA:

1. Snuggles - Let's face it, nobody snuggles like a child. Those little pudgy arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing as if life depended on it. Their head rested on your chest and their heart pumping slowly because they are so secure at that very moment in your arms.

2. Compliments - Since words of affirmation is my love language, I gladly will take a compliment any day. My Kaylee is an awesome compliment giver. "Thanks for dinner, Momma, I loved it!" "Good job on going potty, Mom!" Ella's compliments are usually full of grunting and then followed by a giant hug.

3. Hugs and Kisses - From their first slobbery kisses to their big smooches on my cheek once they learn how to do it the right way. From the "I have a boo-boo hug" to the big bear hug. I love them all.

4. Teaching New Things - It is so fascinating how quickly that they learn and grow. Kaylee's vocabulary grows daily and Elanor amazes me in how grown up she plays. It is fun when they pick up on new things. (Unfortunately, they pick up on not so good behaviors as well.)

5. Play Time - I love watching the girls play. They run around the house making messes and pulling out toys I forgot we even owned. They hold hands and run down the hall together. They are sweet friends and I love to see that!

6. Dance Parties - Dancing around the house used to be pretty boring when I was working the moves by myself while Adam was at work. Now I have two little buddies to dance around with me. Our favorite dance is The Interlude. One of my friends thinks it is pretty lame, but she hasn't seen my girls do it. They make it the coolest dance on the planet. Hands down. Here is the original video if you have never heard of it before.

7. Singing - Singing with and to my girls is one the many highlights of the day. It really goes hand in hand with the dancing because when we start singing, we start dancing. I know I have told you to check out For King and Country before and that you might be tired of hearing about them, but they are awesome. And I love that the girls sing along and ask for specific songs by name.

8. Cooking - My girls love to cook! Anytime I start getting bowls and pans out, I hear little feet running to the kitchen to see if they can help. It is so much more fun to have little helping hands!  

9. Clothes - Who knew getting dressed was so much fun? I really enjoy picking clothes out for the girls which is funny because I have never really cared much about clothes for myself as long as I am comfy. But with my girls, they are like having LIVE Barbies. SOOOO FUN! :0)

10. Reading - I have always enjoyed reading.  It relaxes me and gives me an escape. While we tend to read the same books over and over, I enjoy every second of reading to my girls. I love when they get their books and come climb up on the couch with me and we all read our own books. Such a blast!

What are some of your favorite things about being a Momma/Daddy?

You're Not Alone

Over the last 9 months God has walked me through some really tough moments. This morning I heard this beautiful song by Meredith Andrews and it brought me to tears as I was reminded of how God has truly never left my side and has loved me all my life. He walks with me through whatever comes my way. This morning, may this song encourage you the way it has me.

You're not alone.

You Will WANT to Read This

I HAVE to share this amazing story of how great God is and how He used my cousin's story to save another baby's life.

***Please keep in mind that this is not a political post, it is to testify to God's goodness and grace.***

SO, my Uncle Joel posted this sweet blip about his daughter Paulina on Facebook and I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to share it on my page. This is what it said:


"Today, my heart feels broken for young women who are dealing with unplanned pregnancies - wondering what they should do.

Around this time of year, six years ago, a young Mexican teenager found out she was pregnant. Too young to care for her baby; especially a baby with special challenges - she could have aborted her precious gift.

Instead, she chose life. She courageously and painfully chose life.

That burden she carried for nine months - and still carries with her in her heart today, became one of our most incredible blessings.

To the nameless, valiant young woman in Mexico - thank you for bringing Paulina into the world. May you experience God's fullness and loving embrace through those who are following Him!"

Well, the next day when I got up I had a comment on my status that still gives me goosebumps and makes me tear up when I read it from my friend Jeni from college. Check it out:

"Krista please pass this on to your uncle, I volunteer at the Republican Party of Milwaukee County’s office, and a women came in yelling about what a terrible person Mitt Romney is how dare he medal in women’s choices. And can I as a self respecting women ever vote for him. I had just finished reading this on facebook, so I read it to her and showed her this beautiful picture. Instantly she burst into tears she couldn't even talk, after she calmed down she gave me a huge hug and proceeded to tell me that she just came from planned parenthood right up the road and found out she was pregnant. She had made an appointment to have an abortion, (it was at planned parenthood she read a poster about how Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan are against abortion and want to outlaw it) But after seeing this beautiful girl's picture she put a face on her unborn baby and realized it truly was a living thing. After sitting, talking and praying with her. I gave her my phone number and the number to a crisis pregnancy organization in Milwaukee. But she assured me that she couldn't abort this baby, and she wanted me to thank the person who posted this and give an extra big hug to this beautiful little girl, because you all saved a child’s life.

Please keep Ashandi & her unborn baby in your prayers, that she truly can make the hard choice of giving this baby life. I just had to share this amazing story with you & your family. I will definitely keep you all posted if I hear anything more."

Isn't that AMAZING???? Only God could have orchestrated those chain of events. I was so excited that I couldn't help but share it with you!!!

6 AM

For 2 weeks now, I have been waking up at 6. Surprised? I certainly am. I know I have mentioned it before, but I am NOT a morning person. So when God started convicting me of the attitude and heart that I have throughout the day from my lack of time not only with Him, but also for myself, I was shocked that a 6am wake-up call popped into my head.

Nap time used to be my me time, but recently Kaylee has only been napping about 1 day a week and so this time is no longer relaxing for me. So I was spending the entire day stressed by the girls and whatever moods they are in that day.

Needless to say, the last 2 weeks have been wonderful. They have definitely still had their moments where I want to scream and pull my heart out, but I have found that in those moments I have been able to exhibit much more self-control over my mood and my response than in the few weeks leading up to these. I do not think it is by my own power, but by God through me. He has filled me with His Spirit and helped me overcome whatever obstacle the girls throw at me.

I do not know if this 6am wake-up call is forever or just for this stage of life, but I am grateful for these 2 hours. They refresh me. Even though I may be sleepy. They give me rejuvenation and make me feel better about myself. They may not be at the time that I would prefer them, but they are exactly what I need to get through my day.

Vennard T-shirt Blanket

IT'S DONE!!!!!

And I LOVE it! It's soft and cuddly.

Here's how I did it.

First, I cut out a pattern with newspaper and used it to cut out my t-shirts.

Then, I pinned it to interfacing and followed the interfacing instructions. (Iron the interfacing on, peel paper off, iron again using a damp press cloth to seal the interfacing.) This was the longest part of the process. It seemed to take forever.

When I finished the interfacing, I spread my shirts out on the floor to figure out the order that I wanted them in.

It was finally time to start sewing. I sewed each individual shirt to the one next to it, completing each individual row. Ironing when the row was complete


Next, I sewed all of my rows together.

Then, I pinned it front sides together to my purple back fabric and sewed around leaving a large enough hole to pull the blanket through. After pulling the blanket through, I hand-stitched the hole closed.


After that I sewed a top stitch a quarter of an inch in all the way around the blanket. The last thing I did was sewed "in the ditch" across my rows to make the blanket nice and snug.

Voila! It is complete!

That One Person

Several years ago I hurt someone else's feelings. Made them mad at me. Never to trust or talk to me again.

Now before you start calling me terrible names, all of the stuff I was accused of was half truths, lies from others, and just a huge misunderstanding.

However, I hate conflict.

So I told them I was sorry. And for months after it happened I prayed about it and worked on making it right with this person. I finally got to a point where I realized that there was nothing I could do to rectify the situation. God gave me peace that I had done all that I could.

While I felt God's peace, this situation still comes to my mind all these years later. Sometimes I have a hope that this person has finally forgiven me. It truly hurts my heart that the situation has still not been resolved.

Yesterday at church, our Pastor talked about the process of dealing with a major conflict within the body and this person came to mind. Once again I was given peace and understanding that I have done all that I can.

Have you ever been in this type of situation? Were you able to just forget about it and let it go?

I just keep wondering why I continue to think about it even though I have had a clear peace about it from God. Maybe it is God's constant reminder to me to forgive as He has forgave and to remind me of the pain that one carries when they have not been forgiven. Maybe it is His way of asking me to pray for this person.

Priorities

Going into college I expected to meet some nice people, have some fun, and get my degree.

I did not expect to make life long friends.

My brother and I have this conversation all the time. You make your priorities. You choose what goes before what. You find out quickly where you are as a priority in the lives of those around you.

My best friend Meggan and her husband came down for the weekend. 12.5 hours. With two children under two. So Trevor and Adam can cheer for opposing teams at the Vikings vs Colts game on Sunday. And so we can all just hang out together because we enjoy each other's company. (They even played Galaxy Trucker with me, which is my favorite game. And they don't really like boardgames.)

I am so grateful for them. They bring out the best in Adam and I. I love seeing how happy Adam is and how much fun he and Trevor have together. Meggan is a great listener and gives great advice, so conversation is always something I look forward to. They make us laugh and help us remember our dating life and the things we fell in love with each other in the beginning. Our kids are all around the same age so they stumble, whine, and slobber all over each other.

If you have friends that you feel are super important to you, you should tell them. You should show them. Make them a priority. It is totally worth it.

Kaylee's Kidbits

Miss Independent.She loves to do things by herself. If you start helping her, she will quickly say, "I would like to do it by myself please." If something is sitting out she will help herself to whatever it is without asking, not because she is being naughty, but because she thinks she is a big girl and does not need permission. (I am so glad our fridge is too hard for her to open.)

Her favorite band right now is For King and Country. If you have not heard of them, you should check them out because they are pretty fabulous. When we get into the van she wants to listen to her favorite songs in a special order. Fine Fine Life. Let it go. People Change. Right now. (Note - these might not be their official names. This is just how Kaylee would say them.)

Tangled has finally moved to the back burner, while Lion King has taken over as favorite movie. The music is great in both movies, so no complaints here.

Curious George is her favorite show.

She lives for routine. She wants to know everything we are doing during the day and she asks over and over if she forgets.

Can you believe she is old enough to be in Cubbies already? Cubbies just started up and she is learning Bible verses and the Cubbies motto. So grown up.

Blue is still at the top for favorite color.

Kaylee loves her sister. They play really well together and she is always trying to get Ella to come to her room with her to play.

She loves to facetime, skype, and talk on the phone.

I still think her love language is words of affirmation. She loves getting told that she is doing a great job. (Who doesn't - Right?!)

She does not wear diapers anymore. She still has accidents at night occasionally. We are working on that. So proud of her.

Shopping buddy. She loves going anywhere and is pretty good for the most part.

Naptimes are getting fewer and far between, but I still make her stay in her room and be quiet for some down time.

Kaylee is growing up too fast most days and not fast enough on others.

She makes me laugh a lot. She is silly and just full of energy.

I love that girl.

Recommendations?

So a while back I posted about my motivational dress. In June I was finally able to put it on and not feel fat and frumpy. Here I am in it during my prime work-out time. Felt fabulous about myself and was so glad to see my hard work pay off!

Sadly, I traveled a lot over the summer and the work-out regime went down the drain with the healthy eating and while I have not put much weight back on, I am feeling quite jiggly again. I want to feel good about myself again and now is as good of time as any. RIGHT?!? All of that to say, Adam and I started our competition/challenge back up on Tuesday of this week. We have added our own personal goals to be met at the end or we cannot receive the yet to be determined super awesome motivating prize.

With that being said, do you guys have any recommendations of good scales that our moderately cheap? I don't need one to tell me that I am 97% fat or anything. Just a simple, you weigh ###. By cheap I mean like in the $30 or less range.

Elanor's Endeavors

It has been a while since I have shared all things Ella. So here we go.

She is talking. A lot. Not so much real words even though she does say quite a few. She even already talks back. So if she doesn't want the green beans, but wants a banana she will shake her head and yell a bunch of gibberish at you that includes the word banana. (I try not to laugh because it is super cute. But one day when there are real words coming out, it won't be cute anymore.) Her vocabulary also includes a lot of grunting.

She is super cute. It is so hard, internet, to be upset with her. She knows when she is doing something wrong and she will look up at you with her big brown eyes and smile really big, dimples showing, hoping you won't punish her. Seriously, see for yourself.

She adores the cat. She actually pets Titus. She has never been rough with him. Every time she sees him she gets super excited. (She likes dogs too and usually barks at them.)

She is finally getting more teeth. I thought for sure the child would only have 4 teeth for the rest of her life, but was pleasantly surprised when 2 more broke threw on top.

She loves her Baby Ashley and her Bear. She sleeps with both of them and carries them around the house.

She enjoys talking on the toy phone as well as the real phone. She loves to facetime and usually gets upset when the call is ending.

She always wants to play with the dishes. Most days the dish set we have is all over the living room and the girls are playing with it because Ella asked Kaylee to open it.

She is a cuddly little bear. She gives the best hugs and really cute little kisses.

She rocks at dancing.

She hates shopping, but loves being outside.

She is persistent and definitely has a mind of her own.

I love her.

Has anyone invented a way to freeze time yet?

Because You Are

Today Momma starts radiation. 1 treatment of 25.

It has been interesting to see God move and stretch me through this whole situation.

Some days I struggle with doubt and frustration.  It was supposed to be a black and white situation. Mastectomy. Reconstruction. Pill. Gone. .9mm changed all that. Chemo recommended. Surgery recommended. Radiation promised. After all the debate, radiation is the answer. Will radiation really do the trick???

Some days I am indifferent and just simply do not want to think about it.

Some days I have peace and know that God will bring good from the situation. I just finished reading The Lion's Mark trilogy by Francine Rivers and it reminded me constantly of just that. God's love never changes and He is with me. I just need to seek Him and I will find Him.

There is a band called Everybody Duck. They have a song that really fits where I feel like I have been spiritually during this whole thing.

Here it is. Check it out.

Toothpaste and Sunscreen

When we were in Kansas for our college reunion a couple of months ago we had a situation with Kaylee and Ella involving sunscreen that was not fun to clean up. (Ella's outfit from that day still smells like sunscreen.)

And maybe you are one of my few wonderful followers that remembers this post from not long before that.

Well, that is not the end of Kaylee's little mess making nap times.

Last week we were in South Carolina for Adam's brother's wedding. We put the girls down for naps and turned on the monitor. Small noises here and there including some singing and laughing, but all somewhat harmless sounds when the girls are in the same room napping together. Adam's Mom graciously held down the monitor for us so that Adam and I could go play in the ocean for a short bit. When we came back, we rinsed off the sand in the back yard and as we were coming around to the front Kaylee started opening the door to our side of the beach house. She was covered in something white as well as wearing her pajamas. (She was dressed before the nap began.) As I push her back to survey the room, I am astonished to see the mess she has made. (Talk about having a flash forward to 14 years from now.) Both toy bags were dumped and toys were scattered everywhere. Both things of sunscreen are open and strewn about with the toys. WHITE STUFF WAS EVERYWHERE! The entire floor. The bed. The couch. Kaylee. The packnplay. Ella. And then there was a lone tube of toothpaste, empty. (was brand new)

Adam took Kaylee next door to deal with her while I cleaned up the mess. I don't have a picture of the over all mess because I did not think of taking a picture until I was finally able to make it over to Ella. Who looked so sweet as she was sleeping. Among the mess.

In the packnplay with Ella are some stale veggie straws, toys, sippy cup, pacis, her bear and blanket, and if you look closely under the food and toys you can see the stain from the Dr Pepper that I had leftover that was also dumped in there.

You can't see Ella's head from that picture so here is the view from when she was awake.

Thankfully, the white stuff was not the sunscreen but the toothpaste. It was surprisingly a lot easier to clean up than the baby sunscreen was. And it smelled better too.

Kaylee definitely keeps us on our toes.

Cancer Answer

After much prayer and debate, my Mom and Dad decided to only do radiation.

A board of specialists met on Thursday to look over and discuss my Mom's case and all agreed that she should have radiation and only two said that she should consider having chemo.

She met with her breast surgeon yesterday and after looking at Mom's diagnostic mammogram, she decided Mom does not need another surgery.

She starts radiation soon. The cool part is that since she opted for reconstruction instead of an implant, there will not be as much damage as there would have been. (Still some damage, but not as much.)

Thank you so much for praying for my parents! I really appreciate it!

Cancer Dilemma

Yesterday my Mom and Dad met with my Mom's new oncologist. Going into the appointment they knew that there was .9 mm of cancer left around the edge of her muscle where she had the mastectomy and that she was going to have to take a pill for the next 5 years.

What they were not anticipating was that the oncologist was going to recommend she have radiation and chemo.

The cancer that is still in there was unexpected by her original surgeon and that if they were not immediately doing reconstruction then he would have recommended a second surgery to remove the rest from the muscle. However, since the reconstruction was happening that day and already set in motion, they continued with the procedure. (They start doing the reconstruction during the mastectomy.) After her surgery was complete, her surgeon said that she should be alright if she just takes the pill.

Her new oncologist thinks otherwise.

I don't know all of the scientific jargon, but the cancer that was left could potentially spread to other places of her body if the pill does not work. Or she could be assured that the cancer is gone by putting her body through chemo and radiation along with taking the pill.

My heart is hurting for my Mom and Dad.

Could you please pray for them? They have to make this decision by next Friday. They need wisdom and discernment about what to do. And confidence and peace about their decision.

The Grass is Always Greener

I am sure you have heard the phrase. Well, in my case it is literally the truth. My neighbor has such a beautiful yard. An oasis.

Especially compared to my dry dead yard.

She spends countless hours and dollars to keep her yard looking wonderful. Seeing her and her workers diligently take care of her yard day in and day out, I am reminded of the work it takes to maintain other things in life.

Relationships. Weight. Money. Home.

All of these things require hours of work, maintenance, and growth in order to make them beautiful and extraordinary.

I am going to be completely honest with you. Sometimes I let my laziness keep me from doing what needs to be done. It holds me back from having something lovely. Something well maintained and groomed. Hopefully, from here on, my neighbor's yard will be a constant reminder to me that if I put forth extra effort and energy I will have beautiful worthwhile results.

Moment's Like These

Seasoned parents always tell us new parents that later on we will miss these days when our children are young. At these moments I want to laugh and say, "uh, yeah right!?!" Endless diapers, whining, and "NO!". Constant dependence on me. It is tiring.

But. 

Then there are moments like these:

-Ella carries her bear over to me, backs up towards me, and sits on my lap cuddling her bear and bouncing her feet.

-Kaylee crawls up on to my lap, wraps her arms around me, lays her head on my chest, and simply holds me.

-Ella starts giggling like crazy about nothing.

-Kaylee sings about what she is playing with.

-They fall asleep in the van.

-Ella spins around in circles.

-Kaylee gives Ella hugs and kisses for no reason.

-Ella smiles at me when I look at her.

-Kaylee wakes up afraid and needs me.

-They play together.

-Ella wants me to cuddle with her.

-Kaylee wants to help me cook.

-Ella signs "please" when she wants to sit on the couch with me.

-Kaylee wants me to paint her nails.

-They dance together.

-Ella gives me a big hug and kiss.

-Kaylee wants me to hold her hand in the van.

-Ella holding her hand out to me because she doesn't like that it is dirty.

-Kaylee making faces back and forth with me.

-They laugh and laugh for long periods of time.

These are the moment's that make me say, "Oh yes. I know. I will definitely miss these days." These are the moments that I cherish and know that they will be gone in a blink on an eye. With every stage, I am sure there are moments like these. Special moments that one day I will miss as a parent and other moments that I will be glad are over. In the mean time, I will savor the good things in this stage and enjoy them while I can. Because some day I will miss them.

Krista's Fun Facts

So last night I could not sleep a wink. And it got me thinking about the little quirks that I have and the weird things that I do that others may or may not know about me. For your entertainment here is said list.

-At night, I prefer the room to be cold so that I can snuggle up into the blankets.

-There is only one way to clean and it is my way. (Ask Adam.)

-I HATE clutter.

-When the girls start digging out tons of toys it stresses me out. (mostly because I hate clutter)

-Ever since Ella was born, I have a hard time getting to sleep and some nights I lay awake for hours, unable to shut off my brain.

-My mouth is still numb from having my wisdom teeth taken out and could take about 6 months to get the feeling back.

-My favorite household chore was laundry until I moved into a home where my laundry is in the basement.

-My least favorite household chore is dusting. 

-I LOVE putting Kaylee to bed at night because I enjoy singing and praying with her and talking about the day.

-In the last 4 days, I killed over 39 flies. (stopped counting at 39 and that was just in 2 days)

-I am really bad at the game Lost Cities.

-When I am going to bed, the bedside lamp has to be on because I cannot stand getting into bed in the dark. (I blame my Mom on this one because of the time she crawled into my bed when I had gotten up to go to the bathroom so that she could get me back for always scaring my brother.)

-I LOVE putting Ella to bed because she cuddles up with her bear while I sing and she looks super sweet. (which makes me want to pick her up to snuggle and start bedtime all over)

-The girls know our routine so well that they do it by themselves now. After breakfast is playtime in the living room. They just went in the living room, shut themselves in, and started playing.

-I like to throw wet diapers at Adam. He hates it.

-Ever since I came up with that pet peeves list, I continually am aware of other pet peeves that I have. (So, I text Michael with them.)

-Dr. Pepper is the best pop ever.

-Water is disgusting.

-I enjoy doing the 30 Day Shred because I know it works. (I've lost 22 pounds since Christmas!!!)

-It is hard for me to choose working out over taking a nap. I like naps.

-Being a parent is a lot more work than I ever thought it would be.

-If I were a super hero, my weakness would be ice cream.

-My husband is my soul mate. I love him very much.

-I hardly ever wear make-up because I like that it makes me feel beautiful for rare occasions.

This concludes the fun facts for now. Have a fabulous Tuesday!

Kaylee's 3rd Birthday

We let Kaylee pick 3 friends to have over for her birthday since she was turning 3. She LOVES Tangled so we went with a Tangled theme. I had big hopes and dreams about how I was going to decorate, but when I started actually making the decorations I was definitely in over my head. So even though it wasn't what I pictured in my head, it still turned out pretty cute and I was happy with it.

I made the pendant flags and used table cloths for the rest of the decorating.

The pendant flags were pretty time consuming, but they turned out awesome. I found a template on-line that was way too big so I had to resize it. After finding the perfect size, I taped it to a paper plate and cut it out and used the paper plate as my stencil. Then, I cut out my triangle shape on a sheet of paper and traced it on the felt. I was able to get 3 triangles on one piece of felt. Using my stencil, I painted the suns on the flags and let them dry. The last thing I did was take scissors and punch holes on each side of the pendant and used yarn to hang them. 

Wal-Mart made the cupcakes and I was very pleased with the turn-out. They were yummy! (Kaylee pushed Rapunzel down into the cake right after I brought the cake in so that is why she looks a little off.)

It was a super fun day! The biggest thing for me was knowing that Kaylee enjoyed her day!

My Momma is Tough

My parents are what I consider young parents.  I have always thought that my days of seeing my parents suffer would not come until I was in my 40's. Little did I know that my Mom would get breast cancer.

I have been given the honor to help Daddy take care of her this week while he finishes up packing and getting ready to move. (Thank you to my in-laws for taking care of my sweet babies so I could be here without worrying if they are alright.)

First let me say, my Mom is tough. She is doing her best to hold off from taking the pain meds in hopes to not be on it for too long. She does not whine about the pain even when it is clearly obvious that she is in pain.  

I had no idea what it would be like for my Mom. She has drains that have to be emptied every few hours that if moved the wrong way pulls on her scars. There is a cream that has to be rubbed on the wound to help it heal and dry out. The scars from reconstruction run along the bottom of her belly. Her medication and antibiotic mess her stomach up causing bloating which strains the scars. Since she was under for so long during surgery she has to do breathing treatments to help retrain her lungs.

I was not prepared for seeing my Momma struggle. I was prepared to see her strength and she has proved to be as strong as an ox.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Please keep them coming.

Dry Socket

So a little over two weeks ago, I had my wisdom teeth removed. Let me tell you, this is not something I would ever want to experience again. It was painful and the Vicodin made me super sick. I decided that the prime time to have these suckers taken out are when you are still living at home and your parents are there to doctor you and feed you milkshakes.

Anyways, after two weeks of serious continuous pain that I constantly was whining about to poor Adam, I went in on Tuesday and had what I consider another painful procedure. I have a dry socket and they have this thing that they stick down into the hole to cover the wound to help it heal. Painful.

BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT!

It was almost instant relief. And my mouth did not hurt for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!

So, yesterday I had to go get it removed and have something that dissolves since I will not be able to get back up there for a while.

He said it would taste the same as the other stuff, but this one tastes worse in my opinion.

However, it feels AWESOME so I can live with the nasty taste.

So, all of that to say - if you don't have your wisdom teeth out and you still live with your parents, get them out now. You will be glad you did.

Baby Birds

If you read my last blog, you read that a lot of the 10 things I would like to be remembered for have to do with my personal walk with Christ. Lately, I have found myself avoiding personal one-on-one time with my Creator. Which makes it really hard for me to be remembered for those things when I am not doing them.

Recently, Adam and I changed the outside lighting on the house and much to our surprise we found a nest full of baby birds. (We thought the nest was empty.) Over the last two weeks all of us have been watching the birds. Adam was sure that they were not going to live since we moved their home to the ground next to where it once was. I just knew they were going to survive. They just had too!  Tonight we were all outside and Kaylee accidentally bumped the light with the rake and all 4 birds flew out one at a time. It was so crazy and amazing at the same time. I was proud of them and thankful that they made it. Adam pointed out then that they were sparrows.

Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Matthew 10:29-31 says,"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

As I was thinking about the day's events, I thought of these two passages. And I realized that He knew exactly what I have been needing these last few weeks.

To be reminded that I am valuable to Him.

I hope that this encourages you as much as it encourages me.

Remember - Check

List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.


1. My love for Jesus and my desire to follow Him.
2. My love for Adam and my heart to be a Wife that meets his needs and makes him happy.
3. My love for my kids and my example to them as a mom.
4. That I am a prayer warrior. You need prayer? I will pray.
5. I care about others.
6. My walk with God being honoring to Him.
7. When I sing, I sing for Jesus.
8. I am a good friend and someone others can count on.
9. My home is a place where others feel welcome.
10. That I live a full life and have a blast during the journey.

As I was writing this list, I began to feel convicted. Right now, if I died, would people say/think these things of me? These are things that I should be striving for. These things should be a part of my daily life. Looks like I have some work to do.

Misunderstanding - Check

What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

Honestly, I do not feel like I am misunderstood. So I asked Adam what he thought and he said he does not think I am misunderstood either.

So. Apparently you all know and understand me.

It is probably because the most complex thing about me is my obsessive need for my house to be cleaned a certain way and that I am a woman.

I have my quirks. They just make sense if you know me. Apparently.

Dinner - Check

If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

This question makes me laugh because it doesn't ask why I would pick that person, it is more about the food. Which is fine with me because I LOVE food. Haha.

It would have to be Masako Trosen. She was a fabulous cook and such great company. She would probably make some interesting dish that I have never heard of or eaten before, but it would taste fabulous. And conversation would be wonderful.

Some of my favorite childhood memories include Masako. I am grateful to have known her. She was truly a woman seeking God.

Body - Check

What is your favorite part of your body and why?


Well, I have always liked my feet. They were my favorite part of myself for a pretty long time until I got a scar on my foot.

My favorite part of my body now is my arms. They have stayed the same size through two pregnancies which pushes them into first place above my feet.

Really interesting, right?

Popular Notion - Check

What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?


It irritates me when our society makes light of sex. Sex is not an activity meant for just anyone and everyone. It was designed by God specifically for a husband and wife.

I am not limiting sex to just intercourse.

Sex can be anything from a butt grab to a lingering kiss.

It is that moment when your mind goes from "This is special." to "I want more."

Sex is not a recreational activity that you do for fun with whoever you want. There will be emotional baggage left behind. There will be consequences.

When it is used that way, the special luster is gone and it is dirty and worthless. Might as well be mowing the grass or driving a car.

Sex is a beautiful gift and when it is used correctly, it is a fantastic wonderful thing.

When a man and woman save themselves, every thought - every deed. For their wedding day. Their is nothing more special than offering yourself as a gift to the one you love. Pure. Untouched. Ready. And accepting that same wonderful gift from them.

Too bad the world has it all wrong.

They are missing out.

Love Language - check

What is your love language?


I shared this a while back, but my love language is words of affirmation. I honestly wish it was something else. Like acts of service. I feel like it is a lot easier to do stuff for someone than it is to affirm them with words.

I think Kaylee has the same love language so I have to really work at telling her "Good job!" or "You are so kind!" I am still not sure what Ella's is but I am leaning towards physical touch. She is such a cuddler.

Adam is definitely acts of service. He feels loved if I have the girls dressed, the house cleaned, and the dinner ready when he gets home.

While each of us have one specific language that we "speak" the most, the truth is that loving someone takes a conscious effort on our part. So usually I feel most loved when Adam tells me that I am beautiful and that he appreciates what I do around the house, but some days I may just need for him to sit down and talk with me or give me a hug.

Love takes work.

Family Dynamic - Check

Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

My family has always been very open in sharing what is going on in our lives with one another. I honestly believe that is because we moved a lot and since friendships take time to form, we simply were each other's friends.

Now I have shared before that one of my biggest regrets in my kid years was not being friends with my brother. While that is true, there is some element of friendship that was there, it just mostly included me aggravating him until he would play Barbies with me.

Over time our friendships have all changed.

My relationship with my Mom and Dad went from a parent-child relationship to a friendship. My relationship with my brother has changed from a sibling relationship to that of close friends.

Now that Michael and I are married and have families of our own, it bums me out that we all live far away from one another.

I love my family and am so grateful for them.

I want my kids to know and love them they way that I do.

Maybe some day we will live closer.

Cancer

Lately, I have been feeling very discouraged and sad.

It started when my Mom called and told me that she had breast cancer. After a roller coaster of maybe it is cancer, maybe it isn't... it was determined to be cancer.

Cancer is so common now days that when my friend told me a couple of years ago that her Mom had been diagnosed with it, I never really thought through the fullness of the situation. I asked her about it off and on, but in looking back I realize that I was not a good friend. I should have checked-in more often. (I am very sorry, friend.)

Cancer - even though it is common - is still very scary, no matter the severity of it.

I cannot even begin to express the emotion that poured over me when my Mom spoke those words to me. So many questions. What kind of cancer? What stage? Is it curable? Has it spread? Is it what caused her other health issues? Will she die from this? If so, how long does she have? What should we expect next? When is her surgery? Who can I get to take the girls so that I can help her during and after surgery?

Thankfully, the kind of cancer my Mom has does not spread to the rest of the body if you treat it right away. The downside is that her chances of getting another form of breast cancer within 5-10 years is very high if she chooses not to have a full mastectomy.

I am so sad for my Mom to have to make this decision. Glad that she will not be facing chemo. Sad that she will still have a long road of recovery and doctor's visits. Sad that she does not live closer to me so that I can help out more.

*Please be praying for my Mom. They are also moving to Wisconsin at the end of June and the surgery is still not even scheduled. Her doctors are saying 4-6 week recovery and at this point it looks like the surgery will be 3 weeks before they move, possibly even later. It is just a lot to handle right now with packing, cleaning, and doctor's appointments. Thanks!

5 Hobbies - Check

List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

1. Scrapbooking - Working on scrapbooks is very rewarding and finishing them is very satisfying. I enjoy putting pages together and then flipping through them to see the way they flow together. Thinking about looking through them years from now when my girls are older is even more exciting. I can't wait to share all of my stories and experiences with them through my scrapbooks.

2. Board gaming - This is a hobby that I think we will have for a very long time because it can include lots of people. It gives opportunity to talk while getting to play in a bit of competition. I can't wait until my girls are old enough to play as well so we can have family game nights. Kaylee has already claimed blue as her color which leaves Ella with yellow as her only option.

3. Sewing - My newest hobby. I have been sewing for about two years now. I have not done a project in a very long time because I hate getting it out and putting it back. (Maybe I will have a craft room in our next house where I can just leave my projects out. - hint, hint.) Sewing is fun because I can start with just fabric and slowly see it turn into something awesome. I think my next project is going to be a t-shirt quilt made out of my college shirts.

4. Reading - My oldest hobby. Books are so much fun because they can get you away from your life and into an imaginary world within a matter of seconds. Reading has been something I have always enjoyed doing. When I was a kid, I would get into trouble because I would stay up all night with a flashlight finishing a book and I would be super cranky the next day from my lack of sleep. There is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when you complete a book or a series.

5. TV/Movies - Ever since Adam and I have known each other, we have enjoyed watching movies or TV series together. We joke that Smallville brought us together because that was one of the things we would regularly talk about with each other before we were dating. I enjoy this hobby simply because it is mindless and because I get to cuddle with my husband.

Do you have any hobbies in common with me? Tell me which one(s) that we share.